random no. 9

61.
Walau hujan badai kan terus melanda
Walau amuk gelombang tak henti menerjang
Walau terang mencegah, walau mentari kan membakar
Jangan letih menapaki kehidupan

Ujian bagaikan terik sinar sang surya...
Hadir kedunia bersama berjuta karunia...
Janganlah bertekuk lutut dalam pelukan putus asa...
janganlah bersimpuh dihadapan duka...

hadapilah segala tantangan...
sambutlah harimu dengan suka cita...
hadapilah segala ujian...
dalam kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan...

by: shoutul harokah

my credit goes to that person who just returned from 'Amman. he keeps playing this song and his alarm is this song!


62.
went to Zoo Negara with Ahmad, Muhammad and 'Ali. with my 'uniform' usually i wear at home or in personal transport. when i said i'm selekeh, that Ahmad replied, "all Islam asks to cover 'aurah..." okay! ha-ha. dush!

i found it's not interesting to go to zoo.

but, while eating ice cream with Muhammad and 'Ali before we went back, i was thinking about the zoo.

yeah. i found that actually i can do something that make me a better servant to Allah.
zoo means plenty of Allah's creatures. all the beautiful. all the cute. all the wild. all the big and tall animals! how proud was i....

and yeah. i actually should observe what's in the zoo.
children and zoo are familiar. am going to be with children, ain't i? that forgotten and proud me again...

in a conclusion, think before i feel. i've wasted my time at the zoo without doing something meaningful! :'(

and am sorry to Muhammad and 'Ali that i didn't bring my camera and didn't ask from Ahmad his camera to snap some pictures of you both! bad sister. 

63.
it's about passion. 8 hours journey. i didn't realise that it's more than two hours! :)
"weren't you afraid or scared?"
"eh? afraid? scared? of what?"
"if you took wrong road..."
"no.... we can turn around if we took wrong road..."

ngeeeeeeeeeeeee. and i'm a morning person.


64.
my lovely bluish sentimental the second was sick.
"operating system can't be found"

i was just... okay.... 

then, sent it to the place where i took it.

after returned from Selangor, it's at ayah's place.

turned it on.

huh? okey. nothing inside.  okay. restless.

no sentimental pictures.
no sentimental values.

yes, i don't have external hard disk! +.+

i was like.... it took me quite a time to get my feet back on the ground with a heart and soul.

later, this thought came into my brain.

you get it back with nothing inside. it's like purifying. doesn't it? you can restart all over again. reinstall all the good stuff for your soul. don't give a dirt into it. you should download Omar Series! Fetih! ehe. you can search again all the ebooks for your soul. won't you? still remember when you lost that Nokia? you have the pros for losing it, right? please, lighten your spirit!! you're not nothing here.


65.
MyGMJ.

cousins; E, Luq, bro in law; abe Syim, Momo, Aman

Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam

things i got... the third brooch i bought since i've lost it twice.

maybe, flashmob.. maybe. haha

credit: Ahmad's blackberry. :P


66.
today. less than 24 hours - time at home. hee. about 24 hours Junaid has gone to his hostel. i miss him. hahah. Junaid!
days with the five younger bros. growing up to be taller and bigger than me.
am losing my appetite. kohf2. it's okey. after nine days, i'll be back. insya Allah! heh.
the best excuse; i've to see the doctor!! =p


67.
school.
something i can't describe with words.
but, i really want to do something. i need to do something. regardless all the trouble i'd known.

Random no. 7

46. spendthrift. i am. T_T nevermind. today, ayah stopped at a shoes shop to buy new one for himself. then, i remember that i need a new pair of slipper to use for toilet business at hostel, so i went into the shop with ummi ayah and Muhammad. he. he. then, i just looked around. there is stock clearance....hehe. i took one pair of formal shoes worth RM10. haha. well, physically the shoes doesn't seem very new. well. old-stock? never mind. at the end, Muhammad bought one pair of slipper for him like my two pairs! haha.

47. today, i just found that UEFA is going to put Israel in the list. erm. i dunno how to explain this issue, but i understand the issue. if Israel got its name in the list, it seems like the world recognizes it as a country. seemed legal. the truth is Israel robbed Palestine! you may read more in inminds.com.and i was touched to see everyone beyond the race and religion are letting their voices out for Palestine.

48. speaking of Palestine, there'll be a program in this country!!

i do feel like going. but, hmmm.... we'll see. huhu. last year i couldn't join them. i can't remember why, maybe because i was in the campus. but this year, i can see the opportunity with 30% possibility. if you live near Shah Alam, just, please join the people!!

49. Closer and closer to mankind comes their Reckoning: yet they heed not and they turn away.
[Al-anbiya', 21:1]

50. today, we're waiting for Ahmad to arrive home. i was laying on the bed. trying to take a nap. "Gahh!!"
okey. he's arrived. he laughed at our home gate. use remote control everything, but rongak! haha. still can be entered by person.

51. not feeling good to update my goodreads. i think it's near 30 books already i've read. hm.

52. i told Junaid about UEFA - Israel. Junaid replied me why bother? let Israel be in the list. ummi was listening to our conversation. ummi said that Junaid doesn't understand the issue, yet. hmmm.....

53. a reply to an SMS is meaningful eventhough it's just a - :) - or just an - OK - or just a - TQ - appreciate the people sending u an SMS, furthermore if the sender have done u a favour. *me either often reluctant to reply an SMS when we know it's the end of the topic. hee.

54. bringing Muhammad and Ali to a programme... Ali as the participant. Muhammad as my little brother. Muhammad - spoiled, pampered. thanks to the brothers for their favour at the dorm.
Ali - felt threatened by Muhammad, always asked Muhammad to get out of the programme-causing Muhammad to find me with teary eyes. -_- 

half of February; sweet.

spelling February reminded me of my wrong spelling in the working paper. haha. what a bad secretary was i... (ok.. i haven't done the report!! -_-") 

for the first time, i arrived home on the same day with the last day of academic lecture. it was  Friday.

ayah said this before i off to Butterworth two days ago,

"my driver is going off..."

ehe. i updated my work at Facebook profile. haha. proud. of course. a daughter's pride. can i say that? :) or... maybe only-me-middle-daughter-syndrome. -_-" the most rebellious. krik3

i fetch ummi on the night i just arrived.
i drove ayah and ummi to two kenduris

the meaningful four days at home. <3 p="">
went to Seremban. for the first time. quite embarrassed to act like foreigners. hahaha. and the Nikon L23 made scenes. the battery's flat. -_-

and i don't know i was so excited to see a car with AqsaSyarif sticker? >.<

Junaid's and Ahmad's birthday have passed. haha.

happy belated birthday to both of them.

 anymore?

there're assignments to be done~

reports... okey.

bittaufiq wannajah everyone!

i love home.
i love room.
i  love me.
for don't send myself, nor go to doom.
strive, struggle and ask for heaven, instead. 

the end.

today is the last day am at home. for 2012.

this time, i felt like i'm repeating a phase in my life in the past. i meant, this semester break.

that was because of the people presence at home.

the same siblings were present.

yet, many other differences that made it not similar with the past.

we'd grown up. physically. emotionally. mentally. educational-ly. unluckily, we'd grown older in the age. heh. attitude-ly, too, maybe.

the scenes happened seemed similar yet not the same as growing up involved one process, we call it as 'change' in a word.

insya Allah i will update another random entry at new room at the hostel tomorrow. :)

what i LOVE about being upstairs or 'kayangan' is the shines of the sun, the green of the scene from above, the clouds in the sky from the view 'kayangan'...

Junaid, the adorable boy since he's a baby with his charming smile. he's gonna be in the hostel as a secondary student. i was so excited about him and the sixth brother just because we share birthday month in Greogrian calendar, in the Hijr calendar we're each in Syaaban, Ramadhan and Syawal respectively. =p

may Allah bless. may it be counted in reaching His blessings and mercy. 

i don't break your wish. as you wish, i'll do it.

of DCs no. 3

20120906 captured from FB. eliciting Yiba beside Aman on the left. hahah. Amad's departing to KL.look at the chubby boy wearing glass, nerd, right?? haha.

20121221 i heard from two dads something about daughters. one is that his daughter would respond better to her friends. two is that his daughter don't know how 'bodek' her father. he.he.he.

20121221 let's smile.

20121221 let's be forgiving toward others no matter what, it's for the sake ourselves in searching for Allah's mercy and blessings.

20121221 am struggling..

20121221 true. it seemed similar about me when i was new to a place, then i just entered another place just earlier than few of my friends and i knew how they felt as the later comer, that i didn't want them to feel what i felt.

20121221 beauty. everyone loves it.

20121222 dushhh!!!

20121223 T________________________T

20121223 i'm taking this again.

20121226 i will.

20121226 hehhhh... hatred with knowledge.  nice.

20121226 the best reminder is death.

20121226 to ponder upon.

20121226 adey. the moment i read this, i was like, so i should delete my blog? deyy~

20121226 but beware of what you are reading... :)

20121222 dush. dush.

am waiting for a transport return home to go somewhere. am already LATE. and i HATE to be LATE. 
i was hit by words i spit. about riding the public transport. =P serve me right. PADAN MUKA.
tomorrow.. am going back to the campus. yuhooo. new room. i'll update random tomorrow insya Allah.

it's 2.30 A.M.

bismillah.

i can't sleep. :-s even yesterday, at this hour too, i was forcing myself to be sleeping in the bed. rolling to left. then, to the right. until i just fell asleep unconsciously. my day began with a tiring feeling since i forced my brain to sleep. yes. i found that way to sleeping is tiring. don't you? :-s

okeh. since i can't sleep, i think i should use this time to update this blog. actually, i'd planned to update after the first paper.

to compare my 'eid in zulhijjah to the previous year, alhamdulillah. this year i'd experienced the better one. :)

yeah. my entry in last year (click) didn't really describe my 'eid by words. i only uploaded two photo collages. coloured and black and white versions.

thus, in this entry... er. how to start?

i actually planned to celebrate this 'eid with my beloved usrahmate, k.mimi in her village at Bukit Tembaga. but, at the eleventh hour, i'd received a message that we'd another hour to be spent with the lecturer.......... i was... hm. pasrah is the word in Malay. what to do. hu. it's okay.

i stayed here in the campus with other friends. yeah. there're many others of my classmates, batchmates, campusmates were here in the campus. ^_^ no woes.

my classmates and i, immediately planned something to do on the day of 'eid. we went to the mall to buy groceries to cook our 'eid food. ah-ha. we planned to make Nasi Lemak for 'eid breakfast and Soto for dinner. :)

what is more, what made me so lighten up was that most of us had the excitement and desire to perform 'eid prayer this time. i was so happy. we put efforts for it. may Allah guard us from sins on the day of 'eid.

after the 'eid prayer, we brought the food we'd cooked to the TV room (where we watch TV in the hostel).

our sambal didn't have garlic. we only managed to provide hot lemon tea for ourselves. pandan leaves plucked from my hostel center yard. banana tree's leave plucked from another block of hostel backyard. and, yes. we break the college rules. ~

oh. the first thing made me felt this 'eid experience precious was that on the first night of 'eid, i heard the sounds of takbir from the campus surau. the absence of takbir sounds was one of the reasons i felt so empty in the previous year. ^_^

 if u're to ask me, why are you very concern about the takbir? urm. i don't know how to explain this with the reference of hadith or anything related to textual evidence in this deen. urm. but, in the previous year 'eidul-fitri celebration i found myself frustrated i couldn't really do the takbir on my own. and for 'eidul fitri, it's short time limit to takbir. so, i was looking forward for 'eidul-adha. b'coz after the 'eidul-adha, we've Tasyriq days. that means we've extra days for takbir on the Tasyriq days. ^_^ to hear the takbir is my excitement, at this moment. alhamdulillah. :) thus, for this year, in Malaysia, we have about 15 hours to go for 'eid takbir. :)

in the afternoon of Zulhijjah 10th, my friends received calls and SMS telling us we got some food from our beloved batchmate living in Guar Perahu. the durian crepe was very delicious!

we finished the food after 'asr. so, we assumed that was sufficient to be counted as dinner. yeah. i too was so full! and i think it's barakah that our stomach really took those food as dinner. (i didn't ask my friends regarding this, but it seemed that nobody asked for dinner at the night.) :)

we postponed the Soto plan for the next day breakfast.

our Soto. the soup got chicken flavour with no chicken! kohf. kohf. garlic... at last. ^_^ for the sambal before, we finished cooking the sambal before 'eid prayer. the garlic, we took after the 'eid prayer. hu. bergedil. can't really be called as bergedil since no meat mixed with the potato. so, i named them as potato cakes. :D

so, that's it. i think i have written the points i wanted to highlight for my 'eid in this Zulhijjah. :)

for those who asked me,

"why didn't you return to your hometown for 'eid?" 

or anything with the same meaning.

i don't have a direct answer for that inquiry. honestly. it's just my feeling i don't wanna go back. nervous for examinations is one of the feelings. urm. and this time, it doesn't have any relation to my escapism plan. :D no. it's not escapism. my sisters; Yummy, Lala and Yiba didn't return either. Ahmad, definitely wasn't coming home.

and, deep inside, i do miss home. kohf. kohf. within these two-three days, i too did feel uneasy toward ummi and ayah for not going back home. er... but, i can't promise that i will be home for next year. because i did make du'a to experience better 'eid in Zulhijjah again here. err... i did tell myself, don't expect too much and don't be too ambitious. :)

urm. in this Zulhijjah, i was disturbed by unknown numbers. :( what a test of life. within this one week, there're already two. i'm not asking for more.

urm. every time i feel i'm disturbed with those disturbance related to  ikhtilat thingy, i say this line,
"stop playing games with my heart". yeah. a line from a song by BSB. and i too will remember this quote of k.'Aisyah Amaran, 2011 - Itu dulu. Nak katanya : JAGA IKHTILAT terutama bila sesuatu "mengerumuni" hati.
and i realized that i didn't really jaga my ikhtilat currently. tett. ok. that's it.

my eyes still wide-open.

it's the morning of 'eid. Zulhijjah 10th, 1433. waiting for 'eid prayer. :)

oh.

i would like to express my gratitude to everyone who had involved in my 'eid experience this year. :) may Allah bless us.
may Allah guide us.
forever.
while we're alive.
may Allah live us with faith.
till we die.
may Allah take us while we're in the faith.
till we enter the Jannah. (amin! insya Allah)
may Allah put us in the Jannah with faith in us.
bittaufiq wannajah for the exams! :)

till then. 

that feeling.

i got the feeling of urgency to return home on the first day i arrived the campus.

i told you, i just can go back when the strong feeling of mine to return home appears in my soul.

so, i went back on Aug 30th, 2012. :)

what is more, the eldest sister, Yummy also came back.

ok.

August 23rd, 2012

Momo got her status changed from single but not available to married.

this is Momo and her beloved husband, Mr. Sun. haha. ok. my bro in-law's name is Syamsi. :)

on the day i returned, August 31st, they had gone to Bangi.

only on September 2nd, Momo returned. thus, it's full house again!

erm.

Saturday.

i was in the MPV with ummi and ayah. there were other siblings too (i had forgotten who're they).

the radio was on. ikim.fm. then. ikim.fm played the song My Little Girl by Maher Zain.

i told ayah, "ayah, you should dedicate this song to your daughters..."

ayah clicked on the 'surround on' button.

"then, you must add '-s', 'my little girls' since you have five daughters..." i was smiling.

based on my observation, ummi and ayah was listening to the song. to the lyrics to be specific.

Sunday.

i kissed ummi's forehand. hug her. kissed her cheeks.

then, when i was already on the passenger seat beside ayah, Ahmad came. he opened the door.

he took my hand. for the first time, he let his cheek in contact with my cheek. ok. how to describe this? i think only elder sister like me understand this situation? ha-ha.

after we left Lala at Sireh Valley, before i left ayah with Muhammad in the car, i kissed ayah's forehand too. hug him. kissed his cheeks.

i left Cik Siti Wan Kembang's city with spacious heart? haha.

contented.

relieved.

alhamdulillah. after i arrived Bagan also, after i entered my room, the heavy feeling has gone. the emptiness disappeared. i just can smile. and alhamdulillah, i'm still in a positive mode. :)

alhamdulillah for everything.

and Ahmad has gone to 'Amman. Allah be with him. ok. only at this moment, i feel sad again.

yesterday, Yiba texted me telling that she's sad for Ahmad's departure. Yiba, i had that feeling earlier when i know he's at BTN programme. :')

yes. this is an entry of my beloved.

and, Junaid looks so nerd wearing spectacles!

'Ali impressed me that he got blue belt in Tae Kwon Do!! 

Aman the 7th, is having his SPM trial exam.

may Allah bless us.
... till Jannah.

and i feel something wrong somewhere again at this phase. DnT. T.T

al-fatihah for our sisters in Russia.

till then.

so...

1.

"Yah, let's go to the surau earlier..."

"Muhammad, Yah (i) don't wanna go there tonight..."

"Why?"

"Yah (i) want to follow Ahmad..."

"then, who's gonna accompany me?"

"Ayah..."

"Muhammad (i) want to go with Yah..."

"Yah (i) have told you, Yah don't want to..."

Muhammad began to cry...

"before Yah returned, Muhammad still can go there, right?"

ummi answered Yah,
"he didn't go there before you're home..."

Yah felt so bad. Muhammad was leaning against the wall. crying.