Thanks bang tere liye!

Ketika orang miskin dan lemah sakit hati,

Mereka hanya terduduk menangis tidak berdaya.

Ketika orang2 kaya dan kuat sakit hati,

Mereka bisa menghancurkan seluruh sistem.

Tapi jangan bersedih, karena ada sebuah rahasia kecil terbaik dalam sakit hati ini.

Yaitu ketika orang2 baik sakit hati, maka mereka akan menyiapkan rencana baru, mencari cara lain, semakin teguh berjuang, semakin tulus berusaha.

Kita selalu bisa memilih jenis yang mana.

Sajak Ketika Sakit Hati

- Tere Liye

September 26, 2014 at 9:50am on Facebook :)

random no. 14

92.  time; age-ing.

it's not eng-age-ing. its AGE-ing. haha. getting old.

following mother to kenduris...

frequently asked questions;

"ini yang no. berapa?"

"umur berapa?"

^________^"

"aunty, how old is your daughter?"

"twenty three..."

"oh. same with me.." i grinned.

"oh. same with you? twenty three?"

ummi interrupted, "born in 1991?"

the daughter, "yes..."

"ha... same." i grinned.

"i thought u're form five!" the mother said.

"u look small (young :P)" ummi's friend's daughter mumbled.

^_^"

before that, at another kenduri...

"Mariah! u look the same!" ummi's friend said. i grinned.

after few words she spoke to me, i told her,

"i will inherit her traits!" haha!

she rubbed my shoulder and said, "yes. of course. u will look young just like your mother."

ha-ha.

when u feel u're getting old because u friends are getting jobs, getting married and having their own children, and people are saying things that makes you feel like you're young forever, it's like drinking bitter Van Houten chocolate powder poured with sweet and thick honey.


93.

- priority.

- urgency.

- important.

it's hard to put them in a hierarchical list. and i usually choose urgency first.


94.

bridge.

i'd love to be a bridge.

to make people get connected.

but, people, please cross me.

a car won't reach its destination if it doesn't move across the bridge.

=)


95.

i tell myself not to count the days. make the days count.

but, i can't resist myself to count the days!

another two weeks for 'eid.

 insya Allah, i'm coming home, after three times celebrating 'eid adha in college, by myself with my friends. :3

^_^

taking one step backward.

The captions of my instagram. August 2013 – august 2014

1.       Daerah itu. masa itu. rindu. <3 p="">

2.       nah nk tnjuk bsunnguhnye i...

3.       bukit mertajam.. pusing kot mana pun nampak jugak dia... xjemu tengok. time rasa nak kuat, akan cr dia zaman2 duk di langit ketiga asrama...

4.       sesuci fitrah. nama setakat ni Insyirah.

5.       Lebih 1000 je???? 6 hours more than 2000 kotttt!!!

6.       Ak ingat mesir... Rupanya tanah airkuuu

7.       Td jatuh dr bumbung ni kena dr almari pulak... Xtaula... ....

8.       Kes ni mmg x tutup eh?? Klau mcm tu kes kemanusiaan lg byk

9.       Nodia. Motorela. Samsong. Bolehhh

10.   .....

11.   APC. Congratz

12.   Olahraga memberds playing bola beracun. Budaks2 need to revise olahraga fun xtvts

13.   Gummorning princess!

14.   Lets sing

15.   rukun iman ada 6 perkara...

16.   ehh tecer ni.. tlg buat pulak..

17.   hmmm.. eksiden. Intrim. Posting...

18.   the boy in green...

19.   suka tgk dia nyanyi pg isnin!

20.   Yg ni pun smgt time nyanyi. Adam!

21.   Faris aiman! Kidal. Ok cute!

22.   "cikgu cikgu adik sy 4 org..." "cikgu minggu depan harijadi adik saya..." "cikgu nk tau lg satu tak... kt kdai kreta tu.... bla.. bla..." kidal jugak! comel!

23.   ngendap tcher instagram dlm keas ye... hahaha

24.   dak nemu jakuk aku . dik nme jakuk apa ( tslh nombor@syafiqahjawawi smlm skali org borneo....)

25.   nama saya Nur Insyirah. mak saya Siti Syazana. akhirnya saya balik selepas tiga malam dlm ward.

26.   masih kosong.....

27.   Normal. Yesterday. Morning. School. *yawn*

28.   Night market. Junjong.

29.   saturday. winding road.

30.   dah 7.15a.m. tahu la sabtu punnn

31.   org nk ambik gambar maluuu

32.   Ckgu kne oter haha

33.   Make up!

34.   Smgtt

35.   Prasekolah

36.   Persembahan xmau... Nyanyi blkg je lah... Budaks2

37.   nur hidayu. O:-) baby. fitrah.

38.   Twins. Xmau posing. Two days ago.

39.   Shahrul and Shahril. Xtau mana satu. Yg blkg sibuk tu nama Suffian.

40.   dictation x efektif. lecturer observe. final. nnt bersama2 pulakkkk.. tp tgk budak2 ni brusaha phm ak spkg terabur ni pun ckup buat aku thn sebak time ngajar... :-')

41.   mdm... mind ur spelling pls... XD

42.   Relief. Prasekolahhh

43.   Layu.

44.   My partner has two observations today...

45.   Brought the kids to buy flags.

46.   ...

47.   Night market. Puteri Gunong. Met a girl from 5C in SK Bandar Tasek Mutiara.

48.   pada suatu malam. [terpaksa crop sorang ni]

49.   it's raining. allahumma soyyibannaafi'an.

50.   my name is Nala. i love to disturb Sufi who's staying at my place for eight weeks. dia bru je tepuk kepala saya.

51.   Let's begin with the first wall.

52.   Dried.

53.   potpourri in the making.

54.   four. #R4BIA

55.   Thnks a lot mdm. I heart u. <3 2mins="" best="" better="" busy="" calls="" do="" final="" for="" i="" ll="" my="" one.="" p="" received="" s="" she="" that="" the="" too="" two="" within="">

56.   There's a hero lies in you!

57.   Walimatul urus at Omar Mee Kuah.

58.   Day 7 of the week at school.

59.   Final touch for the first wall

60.   Finished!!!

61.   Night market. Kilang lama, kulim.

62.   Fatin auni amanina. Susah senyum. Meghap.

63.   Adik2 angkat. Kiranya aku ada 11 org adik masuk angkat tak rasmi segala. Dik Mai and Fadhil Nor. :-)

64.   there's elderly couple. they have roses in front if their house. i love to take the flowers. intentionally to make potpourri. yesterday was the latest i took. 4 roses. this morning, 3a.m. the husband died who used to let me taking the roses. al-fatihah. :-(

65.   found this at school today. may Allah bless the granny. may Allah forgive him. may Allah give him peace. :-,(

66.   rainbow never fails to amaze human to say Subhanallah and smile.

67.   UPSR candidate

68.   kan ku petik bintang2... ku jadikan hadiah utkmu... moga Tuhan merahmatimu.

69.   arash's sentence.

70.   panjat verandah. hujan. rindu pulak rumah manis. <3 p="">

71.   History. Sedar diri. (knp hgpa duk jauh sangat... (~.~))

72.   Arash's. Mmg tcher ajar alquran pun.

73.   I wish i can climb and sit here. Enjoy the scenery.

74.   second wall.

75.   dari minggu pertama cikgu dan budak2 duk tanya, "dah kahwin ke?" it's wan not puan. adoiii...

76.   see. she's busy. thx mdm! <3 p="">

77.   maybe i am unlovable person. #improve

78.   from left: third elder sister, eighth lil bro, bro in law, mak buyung 2nd elder sis, cousin, ummi n ayah. squatting?? from left ahaha. mischievous muhammad youngest bro n younger bro ahmad the sixth. that day i saw status like annoyed for people sending off fmly mmbrs bringing everyone to terminal, looking at this picta, i think to send off someone means love. it's like nk tgk awk depan mata smpai awk hilang dr pndgn b4 kita jumpa lg.

79.   acting like her mother. Nana. Convent Ipoh student.

80.   "ambik jauh2 sikit... nnt mama nampak gemuk and shorter...."

81.   Ladies of june. My company.

82.   Terpaksa dibazirkan. Selepas dua potong kek manis dan berkrim habis.

83.   Eight days. Already. Al-fatihah. Will be leaving the granny. Huu...

84.   Two lesson plans are done. Tomorrow's.

85.   #testing #momentos

86.   The second and third wall... finished within two days. #yesterday

87.   Sawang... received #yesterday. Ahah. The other, received this morning. #kids

88.   Farewell. With special ceremony. Very creative kids. Lalala... even though their role play like trying to imitate me.... not used to receive such appreciation. They taught me to .... #kindness #kids #support

89.   Not good bye. But hope to see you again. :) #experience #memories #momentos

90.   Nk ckpnya dah 10 minggu tinggalkan bilik....

91.   Full moon tonight. Fii amanillah. #homecoming

92.   Morning kota bharu!

93.   Home. After two hours waiting for that boy from Kuantan.

94.   Morning baby! Aunty uda n papa zola are home!

95.   Groceries shopping. #brothers

96.   Uways. A nephew of amanians. :)

97.   Sunday morning at home.

98.   Pasar. Market. Porter.

99.   Babies!! Girls! First n third row: twins. Amirah n Umairah. 6months. 2nd row: a niece of #amanianz named 'Iffah. :D

100.                        Grab his left hand, then look at the camera. Snap! (It's been twice he couldnt send me off..) #heroesofme

101.                        I found this in my one of my notebooks i used during my secondary school time. I dun remember where i copied this from. But one thing am sure enough, this quote concludes everything for one of the worst event in this year. #relationship #life #theperia

102.                        #momentos #appreciation

103.                        ....

104.                        Family portrait.3 generations

105.                        Final. Remember school. Haha #momentos

106.                        Yeay！hahaha

107.                        We smell like fish. We love fish. We are not fishy. We try to avoid selfish. #improve #fish #momentos

108.                        I can't donate again. T.T HB.... #healing #kindness

109.                        Heart. #improve #healing #theperia

110.                        Time flies like butterfly. Butterfly lives a short life with lucky beauty. Clover is colloquial with luck. Dragonfly sounds brave. As brave as red. Red and white are great. White for purity and purifying. All hung at one chain. #perghhhh #appreciation #momentos #lurve

111.                        Netball. Look behind, that hill. Anywhere you go. Haha. #momentos

112.                        #theperia #life #healing #theyolk

113.                        Tourism. Heritage. History. #sunnatullah #fasiirufil-ardh

114.                        Tourism. Heritage. Towers. Monuments. History. Adelaide's sister-land. Multi-livinghood;cultures,religions, etc #sunnatullah #fasiirufil-ardh 49:13

115.                        Heritage. Tourism. #fasiirufil -ardh #momentos

116.                        Storytelling. 

117.                        Hanaa. #mushyloveydovey

118.                        #improve #healing #kindness # life

119.                        Petanque.

120.                        #improve #healing #aminquestions #mushyloveydovey #momentos #thegonepast

121.                        Haha. Harapan.. harapan menjadi layu... #improve #healing

122.                        Sweet. I Think the girl is his grand daughter. #mushyloveydovey

123.                        Cats. Can sleep. Can play. Anytime. But me. Am human. #improve #life

124.                        Alhamdulillah! #healing #life #theperia #improve

125.                        Kalau boring telefon saja saya... adeyyy! Haha. I will remember ur number bcoz only two numbers in urs are different from mine. #momentos #life #perghhh #thegonepast

126.                        Semua benda nak pulun. #life #improve #willbegonepast #perghhh

127.                        #FANELS13 #awesome #perghhh #momentos #mushyloveydovey #eyesbeautysleepless #life #thegonepast

128.                        Of cats again. And heaven yes. Ain't going back for 'eid. :) #perghhh #healing #life

129.                        Haha. Just knew how to screenshot. Lew. #life #jakunness #bungalambatkembang

130.                        #life #buddiezz #mushyloveydovey

131.                        #willbethegonepast #momentos #kindness #my'eid

132.                        #dayofarafah #breakfasting

133.                        #life #willbethegonepast #momentos #myeid #mushyloveydovey

134.                        The steps; May them paved towards jannah, May them filled with love, May them counted for Here and After, May them not be exhausted and stopped... Keep moving forward and once a while, take one step backward. #life #improve

135.                        Friday!

136.                        #academiclifeofme #fear #improve #thegonepast

137.                        "U surely got some smiles, huh?" The moment i heard this whisper, i was like, what's ur problem? Just now, someone shared an article about ladies and ajnabis (men who can be married to...) one of the point is smile. .... Ok. Too many trifles i have overlooked. Thanks. #improve #life #theyolk #mushyloveydovey

138.                        Raining. Not going anywhere. Just walk. Letting go. Hard. #life #improve #lonergoner

139.                        Gwen. Haha. K. #life #improve #aminquestions #kindness #relationship #thegonepast #theperia #thereadingme

140.                        Ninja assassin. "Your heart is special.." "What's out there?" "Life..." #kindness #life #mushylovedovey #diehardinjihadbeamujahidah

141.                        Matilahkauuuuu! Making noise around me. Spreading dirt around me. Flying to irritate me. Not going out of my 'cave'. Off you die! #perghh #life #wheresthekindness #annoyinginsects

142.                        Another insect was assassinated by me. Okey. This cockroach is not dead yet. /_._\ #annoyinginsects #perghh #wheresthekindness

143.                        Gonna keep this wall. #willbethegonepast #life #lonergoner #mushylovedovey #momentos #mycaveinthecampus

144.                        Kumpulan sedap performing nur syahadah. Bringing back the memories. In this exam cold season. May Allah bless. #life #momentos #thegonepast #theperia #missingamanianz #mushylovedovey

145.                        Kumpulan circle team performing destinasi cinta. Bringing back that emotion. Haha. #life #thegonepast #momentos #mushylovedovey

146.                        Kumpulan islife performing nur kasih. Seriously. This is not really contemporary. This is nostalgic!!! #life #thegonepast #momentos #mushylovedovey

147.                        Kumpulan mawar. Layar keinsafan. Turned to make audience laugh. Lyrics. Actions. #life #momentos #willbethegonepast #thegonepast #thisisfun

148.                        Azben: muhasabah cinta. Okey la. Accepted as contemporary. :-D #momentos #mushylovedovey #life #lonergoner

149.                        Last: kumpulan soft. Erti syukur. Real contemporary of music. But still.. nostalgic; the song. :') #mushylovedovey #life #momentos #thegonepast

150.                        #life #improve #mushylovedovey #theyolk #momentos

151.                        #life #improve #theyolk #thereadingme #diehardinjihadbeamujahidah #healing #mushylovedovey #readandthink

152.                        Regret. Aversion. Yet, lesson learnt. Keep your head up, next time. And yes, it's inevitable for me to avoid something that caused me to be that bad me. That bad evil me is not only hurting others, it hurts me too. Heh. Whatever it is, that bad me doesn't bring me closer to jannah. I want jannah. Heh. #life #theperia #theyolk #relationship #thegonepast #improve #diehardinjihadbeamujahidah #healing #kindness

153.                        Welcoming k.ila to our happy circle. <3 improve="" life="" momentos="" mushylovedovey="" myhepicircle="" p="" theyolk="">

154.                        #areyousure #life

155.                        #mynicknames #perghh #thisisfun

156.                        Putting some efforts. #improve #academiclife

157.                        #momentos #mushylovedovey #notgoodbye #life #relationship #readandthink #thereadingme

158.                        Baru tahu selama n makcikakak cleaner bersihkan jgk tngkap. (Third floor tak la kot? Haha) #kindness #life #mycaveinthecampus

159.                        White people say the more the merrier. #lonergoner #momentos #mushylovedovey

160.                        #perghh #momentos #therockiscookingwithluv #thisisfun #traditionalcuisines

161.                        Sleep with notes. #academiclifeofme #mycaveinthecampus #thereadingme #milktooth #academiclife #perghh

162.                        #life #improve #theyolk #thereadingme #readandthink #arraqaiq #mushyloveydovey #aminquestions

163.                        Morning sunshine! :-) #kenapakakakcleanerdatanghariahadmencurigakan #life #improve #aminquestions #perghh

164.                        Sempurna. #life #theyolk #improve #mylittlepencil #opick #bloghoping

165.                        Susah ada kakak gedik macam ni haaa... #macamgedikjemacamgedikje #laghooooo #heroesofme #barutaucarienglish :p

166.                        Finale. Cloudy morning. #life #moveon #amsick #aminquestions #improve

167.                        Guling guling. #cats

168.                        I won't give up on us... Kerana itu wasiat agung junjungan mulia s.a.w. Kita hanya perlukan senggang waktu diisi dengan tasbih tafakkur penyerahan kepada Sang Pencipta. #healing #improve #relationship #readandthink #theyolk #theperia #thereadingme

169.                        Dan kerana cinta langit yang didamba... Dambaan hati para pengimpi syurga. #lurvetoheaven #relationship #theyolk #improve

170.                        #thereadingme #relationship #readandthink #lurvetoheaven #theyolk #mushyloveydovey #improve #diehardinjihadbeamujahidah #buddiezz Seindah sejarah kisah inilah impian aku dalam membina perhubungan dengan kalian. Saksikanlah.

171.                        It's raining at beloved hometown. #homecoming #talkabouttheweather

172.                        Business? #aminquestions Kedai setingkat terbakar. Lepas tu bangunan sebelah naik..lepas tu tapak kedai terbakar jadi tempat parking. Bangunan tu jadi kedai baru!!!

173.                        Objective questions. T.T #oklupakan

174.                        Putu halba! #traditionalcuisines

175.                        Watching tv. Out of sudden, the third younger bro said, "look.. R***** M*****". Dang!!! #thisisfun #JK

176.                        Dangerous. Was climbing the double-deck bed. The third younger bro (again) said, "watch out. The fan above ur head". (×_×)'

177.                        Kenduri k.attiq. sebelah lelaki. Kahwin dgn org kelantan, insya Allah sampai. :D Jzkk k.hawa sbb ajak gi sesama. :) #nikahconnectingpeople

178.                        The second week of my longgg sem break. Initially returned home as the only lady in the house. Then the only daughter among four bros. Now, still the only daughter but with only two bros. When this happens, haa... u know to miss ur siblings. *sunyilarumahhhh* #life #mushyloveydovey #heroesofme

179.                        Sufiyyah. Suffiah. Sofiah. #amanianz #kohai #senpai #momentos #mushyloveydovey #life #QQi2013

180.                        #nikahconnectingpeople 

181.                        Was in UK. #ulukelantan #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan

182.                        The pic on top: wan maryam sofiyyah with wan sufiyyah. The pic below: wan sufiyyah with zarith sofiya and ain sofia. #QQi2013 #thisisfun #mushyloveydovey #momentos #kohai

183.                        Leadership course. Leaders in the school. Make history darlings! #kohai #amanianz #mushyloveydovey #gonnabethegonepast #senpai

184.                        Been searching for this since two years ago. Yesterday i was determined to ask for new cert from LPM since i'll be needing it in 2014. Went to JPN and post office. Even bought postal order. Last night, ummi was searching and gathering her certs for an interview, then, there it was. In a clear holder. Alhamdulillah. :) #life #momentos #certs #improve #experience #yesterday

185.                        'Akad nikah. My lil sister's classmate in college. #nikahconnectingpeople #life #thisisfun #relationship

186.                        Aribcliquers. Sila repost dia inappropriate. Yes. I did. Heh. *bertanduksketmalamni* #life #civilisation #educationinmareshia #annoyingattitude

187.                        Tonight's snacks. From thailand. #thisisfun #life #hehyouenjiarai

188.                        It's been quite a time. Need new plans. May Allah ease. #life #theyolk #thegonepast #momentos #improve

189.                        #relationship #amanianz #kohai #batch18 #theyolk #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan

190.                        #rayuannurani #shitaa #pray4syria #letsdonate #aqsasyarif #mll4s #winterappeal #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #ummah

191.                        #winterappeal #pray4syria #ummah #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #letsdonate #lurve #humanity #life #lunchboxfordeath

192.                        My first experience in debate. Hahah. Amateur. #life #experience #myadventure #thisisfun #thegonepast

193. At the end, i didn't attend the camp. What made this such sentimental to me was the date and the place. ^_^ if ain't mistaken i met u @ftnfth . :D #life #thegonepast #experience #relationship #thehoneychoc #mushyloveydovey #lurve #karisman #PTAK

194. #nikahconnectingpeople #mahligaimahabbah #aminquestions #thisisfun #thisistooearlyformekot #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan

195. Happy feet. They miss hiking. They miss jungle trekking. They miss walking. They miss running. They miss climbing. They miss to be soaked in wet socks and shoes. #life #momentos #inisemuapoyo #thisisfun #momentos

196. Teman bilik setahun setengah. #senpai #mushyloveydovey #momentos #aminquestions apa la agaknya harta pusaka tu... #life #comeandgo #lurve

197. Epik. Never know the existence of this epicta. Say-no-to-camera-age-for-me because I dunno how to smile. Gagaga. #thegonepast #momentos #thisisfun #amanianz #life #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan

198. Breakfast. Burpppppp! #thisisfun

199. This senior. I remember how she concerned about me. About our beloved school. I remember how she with love replied my childish emails. I remember how naughty she is. Haha. I owe her cendol; i promised her my treat. Knowing her residency in cairo was on fire, i only can make du'a. She's in exam phase now. All the best mitsui! Please return to Darul Na'im! #amanianz #senpai #momentos #life #healing #theperia #improve #experience

200. #statigram #shadawentz #momentos #jakunness #life

201. #life #lonergoner #esokkelas

202. Dear you.. the owner of this handwriting. May Allah bless you with His bountiful rahmah, barakah and maghfirah till jannah! All the best in ur life! ILY. And do missing you tree! *insteadoftoo. #momentos #amanianz #life #mushyloveydovey #relationship

203. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day one. I love myself.

204. My classmate. Xoxo

205. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 3: I am getting better everyday. :)

206. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 4: I am important. :']

207. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 5: i am successful in whatever i do. :-)

208. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 6: i am loved <3 p="">

209. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 7: i am strong.

210. #30dayaffirmationchallenge Day 8: i am hopeful. :)

211. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 9: i am making things happen

212. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 10: i persist with confidence B-)

213. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 11: i trust myself in making great decisions. To be here, is one of them. Thanks to them for never decide for me. Thanks to them for always give me hope with guidance and let me choose freely. To adhere, it's the final year. Ummi ayah, i need ur prayers till the end of my life.

214. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 12: i embrace fears fully and calmly

215. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 13: i am a wonderful person

216. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 14: i deeply love and accept myself.

217. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 15: i am able to solve problems creatively. No absurd problem found in this picta. … :D

218. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 16: i am vibrant and have lots of energy! Thisshowssymptomsofbeingnakbalikandnakbalik. X semangatnya final year! Soo not good.

219. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 17: i think like a winner. Semangatsketciksufiyyah!

220. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 18: i appreciate every moment of the day.

221. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 19: there is a solution to every problem. Thanks lala for mr. Potato. Thanks dr. Tarsame for Hersheys. And Hersheys reminds me of@ftnfth hue.

222. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 20: i feel the joy of abundance. Weee! Selfies of the year. Lol.

223. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 21: the universe provides for my every want and need.

224. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 22: i see endless opportunities before me.

225. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 23. #textcutie

226. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 24.

227. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 25: i radiate positive energy.

228. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 26: everything i do turns into success. Even falling asleep. Lol.

229. Cikgu. Ustazah. Teacher. Semua pun boleh. #momentos #life #teachingpractice

230. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 27. #textcutie

231. #nikahconnectingpeople Weddings of january and february. ^_^ #amanianz #apiumnp #apids #life #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #mushyloveydovey

232. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 28: i see the bright side in all situation. That hill. From different point of view. And that building is where i live for five years and half. ^_^

233. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 29: i am in control of my life.

234. Katanya @nurulasma15 install la camera360. Haha. Pengantin cool. Layankan aje tetamu2 awal ni nak berposing2 berpuluh2 kali dari dalam bilik sampai ruang tamu. Dari akad nikah sampai persalinan kedua. ^_^" I was afraid to attend the wedding. Afraid of krik3 situations due to long time no see each other. But, no. The warmth was like the yesteryear. Ha-ha. I heart you alls! <3 and="" apids="" apiumnp="" arrived.="" farah="" he.="" liza="" momentos="" mushyloveydovey="" not="" p="" ukhuwahteraskegemilangan="" were="" yet="">

235. #30DayAffirmationChallenge Day 30: today, i will spread joy in random and beautiful ways. Finale.

236. #life #lonergoner Kemon la. ~_~

237. Nampak tak gambar sape lebih? :-P #life #momentos #teachingpractice

238. From left: amir muhammad, zaid, naqib and zikri. Year 3. The cutest is zaid. *giggle*

239. Rindu-rindukanlah diriku... Sepanjang hari-harimu.... :)) the six heads group. #life #momentos #mushyloveydovey

240. For you who's missing us. #heroesofme #bekadecasa #momentos #life #mushyloveydovey

241. Good morning.

242. Gather. Heaven. Blessings. Dream. #life #momentos #mushyloveydovey

243. Wanted. Tell her i am searchiNg for her ig account. Hahah. #amanianz #kohai #momentos

244. Mental age. Now am having extra than over worried. #life #teachingpractice

245. He said: enthusiasm is inside you. No one can do anything about. It's you who should do something. You can do better than this. Kungfu panda said: there's no secret ingredients. It's just you. Look at the mirror. It's the person appears when you're looking at it. #life #experience #myadventure

246. Go. Work. Wek!

247. The path that i've taken. The road not taken... #life #improve

248. Demi matahari dan cahayanya yang terang-benderang; Dan bulan apabila ia mengiringinya; Dan siang apabila ia memperlihatkannya dengan jelas nyata; Dan malam apabila ia menyelubunginya (dengan gelap- gelita), Demi langit dan Yang membinanya (dalam bentuk yang kuat kukuh - yang melambangkan kekuasaanNya); Serta bumi dan Yang menghamparkannya (untuk kemudahan makhluk-makhlukNya); Demi diri manusia dan Yang menyempurnakan kejadiannya (dengan kelengkapan yang sesuai dengan keadaannya); Serta mengilhamkannya (untuk mengenal) jalan yang membawanya kepada kejahatan, dan yang membawanya kepada bertaqwa; - (91:1-8)

249. Selamat pagi, love. #mushyloveydovey #facebook

250. Haven't used correction pen for few years. This year, i just have to buy them as suggested by my supervising lecturer. And that free gift will be given to any lucky boy or girl among the pupils tomorrow. :-D #improve #life #teachingpractice

251. I want a full stop. Can i?

252. How to ease the self after prayers.

253. Friday morning. #life #momentos #mushyloveydovey

254. You and i mayn't like rules. But, let's take a step backward. Rules; the what we return to when we want clarify or fight for our RIGHT. #life #improve #annoyingattitude

255. #life #theyolk #improve

256. Wake up teacher.

257. My handsome father. <3 heroesofme="" mushyloveydovey="" p="">

258. My happiness for today. Alhamdulillah. :D #homecoming

259. By @khalidahumaidah "Ok this explain everything." via@PhotoRepost_app

260. #myday #momentos #myadventure Humaira' Balqis. Cute. Haha. Can't shout my anger when i look at her. Too cute. :)

261. #textcutie #life #improve

262. #uncle #lee #kelantanese #chinese #firefly #PEN

263. Returned from school. Took a long nap. Dreamt of her. Yesterday was not enough. ~_~ She didn't smile coz she was rushing for her class and this middle-rebellious daughter of hers asked for a selfie pic with her. '_' #numberoneforme #life #mushyloveydovey #momentos

264. WHY DO I LIVE? WHY DO WE LIVE? Begin with the end in the mind. Credit: @shadawentz #life #improve #theyolk

265. Dare to be different. #life

266. Tanah gersang by salim a. Fillah. Terima kasih Allah, Kau hadirkan manusia yang baik untukku. Terima kasih Allah, Kau mengujiku ke atas diriku sendiri. Wahai Engkau Yang Maha Menguasai, Peliharalah aku dari segala sifat malas dan lemah. #life #improve #myadventure

267. Verily patience is beautiful and virtue. #photogrid #life #myadventure

268. Andai diberi peluang, inginku terbang tinggi di awanan. Kan ku petik bintang-bintang, ku jadikab hadiah untukmu, moga Tuhan merahmatimu, terima kasih guru~~ #life #kitesmomentbersamaGB

269. I want to be one of Parent-Teacher Association in the future. :3 #life

270. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Like wise, what comforts you kills you like a silencer. #life #katanyanakSYURGA

271. Cross-country practice. Day 1. "Teacher tak penat ke?" *apa jenis soalan tu* "Yes, am tired." But this is how i enjoy myself. Hurrah!!! #crosscountry #life #momentos #beinghealthy #myadventure #thisisfun

272. Right: 2nd day of cross-country practice. Question being asked by the pupils from my beginning till finishing line: "teacher org apa?" Me: org islam. Me: org melayu. Them: "asal teacher laaa..." Me: klate. Haha. #life #kids #thisisfun #momentos #experience

273. #PhotoGridVideo @PhotoGridOrg #testing #life #momentos #experience #kids #mushyloveydovey

274. #momentos #mushyloveydovey #thatday #amanianz #izzatamaliawedding tuan dia pun throwback hari ni. Hehe. @jeeha137 ce tgk ktorg posing kat mana hujung2 klip ni. :D #nikahconnectingpeople #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #PhotoGridVideo #photogrid @photogridorg kita bagi flooding ig dgn video hr ni. #apakahhh

275. Kan dah kata nak flooding ig dgn vid hr ni. #photogrid #PhotoGridVideo #thegonepast #momentos #life@photogridorg Mari kita dengar sound video ni jadi ke tidak...

276. Spot chef kamarul's daughter if u can. #photogrid #PhotoGridVideo @photogridorg #yesterday #kids #momentos #floodingig

277. How to be a good companion. Not just to find one, what is more is to be the one. #life #lonergoner #improve #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #relationship #mushyloveydovey #lurvetoheaven

278. Am done my APTIS! What is APTIS? Go ask my boyfriend named Google. #life #myadventure #APTIS

279. By @khalidahumaidah "😔" via @PhotoRepost_app 1. Pray until something happen. 2. Others are our mirrors. What they do unto us always reflecting what we do unto others. We just forgot. Thus, treat others like we wanted to be treated by them but don't treat them like they treated us the way we hate it be. Anyhow. Anywhere. Anyone. 3. Be fair. Though life isn't. We know Allah reveals everything on the Judgement Day. #life #myadventure #esq165 #relationship #readandthink #healing #homecoming

280. My usrahmate. Worrying about two observations on the coming Friday. #life #mushyloveydovey #theyolk #momentos

281. Allah, grant me someone who elevates my iman

282. Invitations. #nikahconnectingpeople #life #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan Cuti sekolah. Ada dikelantan. Insya Allah hadir. <3 p="">

283. Yeay!! #life #homecoming

284. Ini bunga. Bunga kerak nasi. Bunga yang bau dalam bunga rampai tu.. bunga ni la. Cikgu pra sekolah buat projek bunga rampai dua hr lepas. Hehe. Bunga. Jepun kata hana @hanaterah_husin . :-D jadi, ini penghargaan utk @hanaterah_husin . Geng butterworth di tahun akhir. ;) tqvm hana. Xde gamba sebenar. Metafora pun jadi. <3 allah="" bless="" may="" p="" us.="">

285. Sebelah kanan. 22 mac. 10 tahun lalu. Kenal tak? SYAHID ATAS KERUSI RODA lepas solat subuh kerana APACHE. Kita mau ending macam mana? ^_^" #life #improve #theyolk #katanyanakSYURGA

286. Ahah. Gaal pasir puteh-telipot-pasir pekan. Sedang iron baju: k.basimah izzati pngantin pasir puteh. Dtg awal sangat. Hee. Xsempat tgk baju lawaa. Pengantin Pegang baby: aisyah and suami, rafizi. Iptho+ipg ipoh. Ehe. Baby tu anak sedaranya ya. Baju biru: mimi PBS mate. Sk p.pekan. Saya pegang baby: baby sapa? Muhammad arif zafran namanya. Bin zailan wa mahirah. :D #amanianz #iptb #nikahconnectingpeople #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #mushyloveydovey #lurvetoheaven #senpai

287. Kg. Padang gerap, meranti - kg. Cabang tiga, berangan Kanan: k.azie. majlis sebelah suaminya, asyraf a.k.a acap. Baru tau taufik agus tu adik ipar k.azie. lol. Kiri: azimah PBS mate S.k. kutan. :D teslian too. Lalala. #nikahconnectingpeople #ukhuwahteraskegemilangan #life #mushyloveydovey #iptb #senpai

288. Travelling with ummi for an event. Mother-daughter. Well. As a middle daughter from 5 daughters of 10 sibs, this kind of activity with mother is very precious. #life #momentos #mushyloveydovey #experience #improve #myadventure

289. The advantage of being an elder sister and a younger sister to a career woman. <3 another="" have="" hope="" i="" life="" mushyloveydovey="" myday="" next="" opportunity="" p="" sisters="" so="" thisisfun="" year.="" yeay="">

290. SMK(A)Lati #life #experience #kids

291. Last day home. 7 hours left. ~_~ #heroesofme #life #momentos #mushyloveydovey

292. "Selfie la ummi.." #numberoneforme #life #heroesofme #mushyloveydovey #yesterday #momentos #thegonepast

293. #PhotoGridVideo @PhotoGridOrg#ukhuwahteraskegemilangan

294. A success. #life #thisisfun #electronic #electric

295. That green object is a hook. It can't hold on to the wooden surface of the cupboard anymore, so it fell on the floor, just now.

296. Princess. Kohf3.

297. Beautiful morning without beautiful feelings. #padanmuka

298. Screenshot few days ago. #tere #liye

299. Kenapa monyet pink? Kenapa gajah purple? Mak aii.. gemoknya gajah dia...! Tu buaya apa? Buaya tembaga! Manusia diberi lidah tanpa tulang untuk berkata-kata. Lidah tu kurnia atau petaka, kita tentukan. Lidah tiada tulang. Tapi ada deria rasa.

300. \_/\___/\/\//\\\_......

301. Final year. Found this. #thisisfun #hibernating

302. BB1M. RM100. Another result of 100 at home. Heh-heh. Gonna let go some of these.

303. Presents.

304. Week 12. 5 days. See you in July. Insya Allah.

305. Ruhul istijabah. History.

306. The volunteer; for adventure. The proposal; for assist. The chemistry; in bleuss. The coincidence; the kitty key-chain. The brain; think easy. The decision; the road not taken. The person; thank you. God; all praises to You. ^_^

307. Selamat hari pekerja. :)

308. Meet Danial and Danish. Twin.

309. Wakey wakey bau syurga!

310. Inspiring. Medical doctor and a bird watcher. Kind uncle. Fell down in front of him. Haha. Embarrassing.

311. Happy revision week! ^_^

312. #pray4munirah @munirahhq kuciNg ni pesan: Rilek. Do'a banyok. Hihi. <3 p="">

313. 7 minggu lalu, balik, xde pagar. 2 minggu lalu, si bongsu ni posing dengan pagar. #dahsemuaadikberadikupdatepasalrumahkannnn

314. Ayah answered: semenanjung better. :3 #worldmappuzzle #future

315. "I never have confidence in teaching..." "Then what u're gonna be after this?" This picture popped out in my brain. ".. hmmm... social activist!" Both of us laughed it off.

316. Morning inspiration. Hi sunshine!

317. Yeah. After nearly one year.. continuing to read of Cat Stevens to Yusuf Islam. Happy revision week. *looking at edu3107 notes on the bed*

318. Nota penting: semakin baik persangkaannya, semakin baik perbuatannya. Happy revision week. (".)

319. Smiling reading these confessions. And so far, among 7 sibs passed school years, am the only child travelling through the path with MOE. ^_^ My answer? Wait till i officially became a teacher in a school for real. Thus, happy celebrating 16th may. :)

320. ^_^

321. Caving. Menggua. Cant open the door. Cant open the windows. Ada lelaki bekerja di luar. Tadi dah tido. Maka cuba la jugak duduk di meja. Mohon do'a pls. Esok final paper. ^_^

322. *snap*

323. #shadawentz #instagayawhothe_shada #jakunness

324. Fefeeling pwincess with my rakan sebaya bday on 25th Sept.

325. Iffah comel!!

326. It's a sudden act. Monkey: i feel safe with u! *hug the tiger tightly* Tiger: oh???! *feeling shocked and awkward*

327. Good morning. May the heart inside is bright as the smile. May the soul not rusting like the metal beside the smile. :']

328. Nur syahadah is performed. Aaa... nostalgiaaaaaaaa. :']

329. K.suaidah and a. Nabil. :)

330. Easy. Happy friday. :)

331. My physics teacher when i was in form five. Barakallahulakuma wa baraka 'alaikuma wa jama'a bainakuma fi khair mu'allimah and zauj. :) Ratu dan raja sehari mencemar duli.

332. Adik sepermainan dari kecik. Xpe dia dulu. Dia k.long. haha. Barakallahu lakuma wa baraka 'alaikuma wa jama'a bainakuma fi khair fatihah and zauj. :)

333. Yesterday's blind date. One of my long-term online buddies. She's in the important list for me to update my SPM result. Wahahaha. I'll miss my student's life. :3

334. My biology teacher when i was in form four. May Allah bless ur marriage muallimah hanani and husband! :) Each of us represent teacher, alumni of 8th, 9th, 10th and 11th batch of amanianz.

335. Meet Hannan. Syahiran's wife. Her husband was my classmate in standard six. ^_^

336. Returned from kenduri, ayah gave this. Looking at Libresse word made me smirk. Once the envelope torned, looking the thing inside, made me laugh. Haha. Ok. Thanks Libresse for remembering my birthdate and warm wishes. :) One kenduri is not attended. Too tired to go alone. ~.~ that communication disease in me. Lulz.

337. #soyesterday #iforgotmy24thbirthdayinhijricalendar #mydate #hahaha

338. #soyesterday

339. That man is not a celebrity. He's my senior's husband. Application to be the second wife requires somebody who wants to be bibik for the current wife. Peace!

340. I never know that u can get this by donating blood. I never know that u can get even a cert by donating blood. I never know that am that childish when Allah test me with some little pain. But, kindness really heals. And patience is too subjective to be defined; yet Allah promise rewards and paradise.

341. Heavy and cloudy and gloomy.

342. It's me photo in his hands. Instead of kissing the photo, he wanted to chew it!!

343. Ummi: kalu x luruh lagi? Aku: buat jugak bagi luruhhhh! Luruh tu jatuh ya anak-anak. Alhamdulillah. Sempat merasa sebelum balik sana. Yeay!!

344. Entah bila jumpa aunty lagi kan, Yuusuf? ^~^

345. New roommate named Syaima. Hope to see you tonight bfore i doze off. ^_^

346. Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum! Kullu 'am wa antum bikhair! :) #yummymissing

347. Ummi ayah x ada gene mamak pun. Tp anak dia yg no. 4 ni org blh pulak kata mamak klate? Semua tu kuasa Allah. Kesimpulannya. Hee.

348. With amax and che ah and dayah

349. Muhammad kecek dgn sapo tu? Owh. Record diri sediri kecek!!

350. It's friday already!

351. Finally!! He fell asleep in his most annoying aunty uda's hug!

352. Budak2 bendera palestin

353. Aunty uda <3 nik="" p="" papa="" terobekorangkata="" yusuf="">

354. Peace be upon u Monday!!

355. Lupa janji dengan semua orang tunggu ambik gambar. #ootd sket @by_rh and @bowsnroses

356. Peers; One of my smile resources.

357. Kawan adik saya @syahe3dekram :D #tghkalutclashdgnfamilyphotoshoot

358. G'day Sunday!

359. Keyword: effort

360. Yummy: That's not nice. Should just wear mafla. Promotion of Aqsa Syarif.. S@fiyy@h Rumm@n 🍪: Why not nice?  Yummy: No. 1 - bg la hari ni untuk malaysia No. 2 - kombinasi kaler tu ceria, lari tema 1Malaysia... kahkahkah No. 3 - jangan sampai kena label tak patriotik di bulan kemerdekaan ni No. 4 - mafla lebih efektif... orang nampak Aqsa Syarif... masa demo orang duk tanya mana nak dapat 😋 Credits with love  @adib2707 Shawl by @sufischa ke@bysufischa ntah? ^_^"

361. Video.

362. I like you sir!

363. Depan bangunan pentadbiran pun boleh! <3 p="">

five captions less than the actual number of posts. can't retrieve now. later. haha.

jaa ne. 

homecoming within 2 days! 

how are you?

sensitive.

i once wrote about sensitivity of the heart depends on the sensitivity of the iman. here: sent-see-thief.

.
..
...

life; like a tyre.

am adapting changes.

yes. am looking back at my life. at my own storyline. 

i just realized that in 5 years recently, in this year; 2014, it seems repeating... not exactly repeating but there are some reminiscence matters occurred. the situation. but, in a different way and i have faith that Allah knows best. 

of people around me. 

i just realized. life is like that. there are people we can have their hands on our back when it's a hard time for us to respond the responsibility. and we can't expect everyone to do that for us. yes. am saying that there are people who doesn't really care to scratch our back when we have to respond to our responsibility for that their wants and wills are not aligned with the responsibility we need to respond to. and again, yes, am sad. 

of the what-so-ever-happened made me sad. 

i just realized that, some things happened that caused me to be sad which were of sickening humans' attitude were me in the past. the meaning is i did some those sickening attitude towards others in the past. thus, it's a cash-payment i'd say. T^T and i know to not repeat the wrongdoings as long as am in this conscious iman state. 

in addition, no matter how sad i am, i should not forget there are others who has worst events in their life and they have to bear more excruciating pain compared to me. thus, it's strengthen the emotional fragility. i remembered one song lyrics by Mirwana G9, 

Allah tests us often
with suffering and with sorrow
not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow

have faith. keep doing our best. keep improving. 

O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.

(2:153) 

Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of Allah." Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!

(2:214)

 Kind words and the covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury. Allah is free of all wants, and He is Most-Forbearing.

(2: 263)

random no. 12

82. al-haya'. the characteristic of shy.
make sure u feel shy to Allah to feel shy because of human. i don't know if shy is literally equal to al-haya'.
my message is, doing something, check, if people see me doing this, what would i feel? ok. why should i feel that way? is there anything so wrong? is it allowed in islam? if it's syar'ie, i don't have anything to be shy or worried if people see me. :)

83. heart. feelings. why u're so uncontollable?! -_-"

84. B2. yada. the license. i've given it up. expired. the L one. so... i can't ride a bike now till Allah knows when. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

85. i don't like to be the shadow. i want to be seen as me. i want to be accepted as me. i want to be known as me. i want to be recognised as me. yes. the right sentence of my discomfort is i don't like to be the shadow. i need a place that is as spacious as a field, not under a tree. and i don't want to be a shade to others, as well. because flowers bloom their best with the sun's presence even though at a shady area. (now am manipulating you! :P)

86. mission: one book read in two days. this mission is not accomplished. and i just have two weeks to go back to the campus. and i don't wanna go back to the campus. T_T final year is scary.

87. went out with my younger bro and two male cousins.
they laughed at girls who are easily shaken when boys disturbed them with sweet-lovey-dovey or show extra concern to them. -_-"
in my heart, guys, that's why u don't need to do all those things. u need to help us to take care of our heart and feelings. T_T

few words.

1. intention

2. sincere

3. proactive

4. positive

5. tadhiyah

6. brave

7. truthful

8. tawakkal

9. let it go. (LOL)

10. consistent and persistent

now, let's work.

*negativefeelingsareabouttospread.

revision week.

my revision progress is very slow.

finished reading Cat Stevens to Yusuf Islam. :D

found this,

revision.

for exam.

for ramadhan. 

for next semester.

oh. final year!

oh. i want to add what i want...

i want to go to Europe and one of the people i wanna meet is Yusuf. Yusuf Islam. ^_^ 

yeah. what if i go to other places? like Japan, Turkey.. etc. who i want to meet? 

i want...

i want to finish my study at this degree level.

i want to travel and go to places!

i want to join outdoors activity like camping, hiking, trekking and rafting!

i want to be volunteers for social activity like helping natural disasters victims.

*please ignore my inappropriateness of using the language. am insane today.

i want to ask, why these days everything needs money?

i want to get rid of ...

i want to know what do i want?

*cricket's chirping*

i want life.

k. bye.

Dear uncle Lee,

Dear uncle Lee,

yes. uncle Lee who was on the same flight with me today. FY1001. his seat was 17D. KBR-PEN.

departed at 13:15. arrived at 14:10.

what's the story?

before the departure, i sat beside him. we talked about this and that. he has 2 sons who're an architect and a pilot for Singapore Airlines.

in short, he asked me whether i'm familiar with the place from the Penang airport?

i said no, ain't familiar. i would take a bus to jetty. he disagreed. he told me he would send me to jetty by his car (he was not doubtful to help because we're Kelantanese. =). so, i was, okay. he told me to wait for him after the landing because he would be taking his luggage.

what had happened was that i need to go the wash room immediately after the flight landed. i went to the ladies without telling him. i took some time to settle my business in there. when i got out of the wash room, yes, my eyes were looking for him. of course. hu. because i said i'll wait for him.

nevertheless, i couldn't find him.

kind-hearted uncle Lee, i was thankful to meet you. and yes i would be guilty if you thought that i escaped from you. hope to see you again. lucky that i asked your name. at least, i know, the uncle who was very concern and kind and wanted to help me was uncle Lee. i should've asked for your contact number. i should've snapped your picture. ^~^"

i reached the college safely at 19:00.

he told me to travel. at least as far as Singapore. i will, uncle, in the future. worry not.

if you, yes, you who's reading this entry happened to know this uncle Lee, please let him know this about this post. ^~^"

me,
the girl who's wearing brown shawl and denim dress.

random no. 11

76. "ummi... WSU stands for?"
"Wichita state university... anything?"
"ooo... hehe. just wanna know. i thought it's me. hauauaua"
"perasan!!"


77. muhammad said,
"sunat pun masuk tv?"

"kahwin pun masuk surat khabar?"


78. "thus, we, as we understand the  issue, just keep silent and observe until we have the opportunity to voice out at the right time..."  *ibrah of the story of one khalifah.


79. *please use spongebob squarepants OST tune.

sapo alumni SRI/SMI Aman? 
saya! 

sapo belajar SRI/SMI Aman dulu?
saya!

alumni SRI/SMI Aman namo gapo?
KALAM!

jadi, sapo ahli KALAM?
SAYA! 

80. "sufiyyah zulkifli?"

"yes?"

"zulkifli or zulkafli or...?"

spelling. name.


81. looking forward the January 17th, night! travelling me. may Allah ease. may Allah ease. and i have and i want  to cherish the present. me and time. again. feeling falling down. like leaves. but leaves never hate the wind that causes them to fall (Tere Liye). 

random no. 10

68. before went home. after finished exam. i'd known that imma an adult. haha. yada. realized that ain't a kid that cries for being neglected and ain't young to be a participant or follower forever.

69. i had great time with teenage girls. well.. they're in early of their teen-ages. they're really testing my patience. and i learnt that there are children who will always quote their mother's to compare your actions. and they trust you as a teacher very much when it doesn't go against their mother's or daddy's.
being with them also made me feel... hmm.. well. i was the oldest that time. i was taking care of them. and i was insensitive to be concern about their health condition. imagine, they'd been suffering of diarrhea since morning, and i only knew that in the evening near dusk after being told, not out of my  observation. haihh..

70. know what... when we want to do something, and we do our best to do it and we have clear intention of doing it, we put our priority within what Allah likes and what He forbids us, masha Allah. insya Allah, He's all there for us. try to reflect our life in this year 2013. is there any events we feel it's like miracle? if we did, istighfar and say alhamdulillah. ^_^

71. driving. there are two challenges which are testing my patience and testing my egomania characteristics. for me, it's very annoying if u're on the right lane and u're not speeding up. then, it's the same if u're changing ur directions without signals. haha. i don't mind if u're overtaking me if u mind the two things i'd mentioned. =p
and i haven't finished my B2 license biz. ~_~

72. finished three novels so far after ar-raqaiq. started cahaya di atas cahaya, though. reading oki's piece triggers me to have the intention to further my studies at Ummul Qura!! hmmmm....

73. am happy. about something. because there's a reason for dia to text me. *sounds desperate, i know* but am happy.

74. am annoyed. two different events. and i have done my declaration. i am training myself to be a person who left the said things behind for something bad. if i say i wanna stop, please, leave me alone. help me to stop. u think why did i declare? bcoz i hope u understand. so, don't disturb me. u think why did i apologize? bcoz i wanna let go the bad feelings and to forget. thus, please, don't even say anything about that particular issue anymore and it's worst for me if u're trying to explain more. sorry, i would be frozen if u did. to let go and to forget because i wanna maintain our relationship and i have realized my mistakes three.

short.

just finished reading the latest update at Muharikah.wordpress.com.

okey, this evening i wanted to attend the newly-growing happy family circle, but i think i can't manage to finish my revision by tonight if i don't revise now. er. okay. i'll update this entry as fast as i can. (am robbing my own time..>.< i know.)

it's just that, i was arranging my personal cert clear holder. then, i found the receipt for registration at ae.pee.ai.you.am. omo... that moment, i told myself. i will go there** someday. in the future. in literature, perhaps? insya Allah. i'll go there. but, literature, how can i use that as a tool in the big word called D-A-K-W-A-H? >.< (i also told myself, i need to draft my personal timeline again. it's been quite a time i don't look at the big picture of my timeline...)

so, it happened that i read the update at Muharikah. yes. the highlighted-big-issue in the update is D-A-K-W-A-H.

for me to ponder and explore.

okayh.

happy revising, self!

^_^

**the address on the receipt was the one in Lembah Pantai, KL. :)

kullu 'am wa antum bikhair

new year, aite?

Muharram 1st, 1435.

1435. 1453.

^_________________________^

am initiating anti-social life.
virtually.
the first reason is because am sick.
am sick that i feel ain't contributing anything to the ummah for every update i keep on track.
am sick that i have that overly-sensitive me reading status updated.
am sick of me.
am sick of people.
the most important; am training myself to find an eternal place to hold on; by not updating status, by not uploading pictures.
by only asking for Him.

1 Nov 2013 - sayonara facebook. 

1 Muh 1435 - sayonara smartphones-social-apps. err.. exception for viber and whatsapp. heh.

1435. feeling old, meh....

okay.

self, happy revising! -________________-" 

HE knows best

thinking of the past,

there're some; full of aversion

there're some; unwanted to be remembered; embarrassing

there're some; forgotten

most of the time, i do want to forget everything.

and, yet,

sometimes, am grateful for the past.

thinking of the future,

planned; unsure

going on with the flow; unsure

unknown; unsure

and, i have the present.

i do wanna cherish the present

without tracing back to the past

without foreseeing the future

in a phrase; without worry

and, yes, worry ends when faith begins.

at some points,

the yesterdays i want to forget; because of today,

the tomorrows i am afraid of; because of today,

doubting my self; looking for the tangled parts i didn't untie and did overlook; self-checking.

unsecured.

unlovable.

finally,

to repent is the best way to mend,

to know that i live to die, 

to apologise to release the guilt,

to forgive to let go,

to live for Him, 

and,

the journey has winding ways. 

to summarise,

have faith; 

He knows best

in the past

in the present

in the future

full stop. 

hi September!

bismillah...

gile banyak isu sekarang ni.

minyak.

pendidikan.

cikgu posting sabah sarawak.

tak semangat kerja.

cikgu BI tak berkelayakan.

ada defensif aku kalau nak karang, tapi...

hm. lain kali mungkin?

takut, mungkin?

habis sudah tujuh minggu bertemankan tekanan perasaan untuk impress orang.

tak mahu impress orang. tapi diminta untuk buat sesuatu untuk impress mereka.

dan aku perlu buat untuk dapat markah. ngaaaaaa.. untuk dapat markah??????????

mana tujuan utama hidup di bumi yang berbentuk sfera inii????????????

terumbang ambing.

mujahadah dalam dirilah yang belum teguh, konklusinya. cerita pendeknya begitu.

woah. seronoknya mengarang guna bahasa  melayuuu...

cita-cita.

jangan tanya pasal cita-cita.

jangan tanya kenapa disini aku belajar.

jangan tanyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

okey. lupa.

manusia ni kena guna psikologi terbalik.

sila lah tanya pasal cita-cita. silalah tanya kenapa disini aku wujud.

sila lah tanya!

antara kesan amal dengan kehidupan.

menguji keimanan.

terasa menjauh...

program sana sini... terikat. terasa bagai dirantai.

sudah berkata ya, selepas pertimbangan faktor jarak dan janji, tidak menggantikan ya.

mencari kekuatan itu susah. susah sangat. memang tak ada sumber lain untuk kuat.

memang kembali kepada Allah jugak-jugak, jalan terbaik sampai mati.

hal sedih atas kematian, sama. sedih ada kematian, sayang, untuk meminta agar arwah baik-baik sahaja, kepada Allah jugak kena mintak. Allah yang ambil arwah kembali kan? Allah pemilik hakiki.

hal masalah antara manusia. masalah-masalah yang tidak jelas.

yang datangnya melalui deria keenam. tak nampak. tapi dirasai. ngilu gitu. Allah jugak yang membolak balikkan hati tu. hati manusia tu. kena kembali kepada Allah jugak. kena berlari memeluk indahnya do'a kepada Allah tu.

nak tak nak.

memang dari Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita kembali.

ikatan hati yang tidak terbina selama bertahun, di mana puncanya? tak tahu.

TAK TAHU.

nak salahkan keadaan? USAHA kita banyak mana? banyak mana?????????????

nak salahkan siapa?

mencari salah, salahkan diri sendiri cara terbaik. salahkan diri untuk membuat yang terbaik.

nak tak nak.

memang dari Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita kembali.

habis cerita.

semoga Allah ampunkan saya dan anda.

R4BIA

i'm the fourth daughter.

i admire Rabi'atul Adawiyah, too. i did read a book about her few years back. not few years... about ten years ago, perhaps. yeah. most of the content in the book; forgotten by me.

i don't like the movie 'I am Number Four'. i don't like english movies, at all.

it happened to be a significant event in islamic history, coups d'état occurred in Egypt. the place of the event named Raba'a.

the faith is islam is rising.

and ain't sure am i contributing something?

yet, felt very relieved that i did have a chance to explain to two of my friends about the issue.

am a social person. i can't sit still without meeting people.

i don't like crowd. but, people.

i can't stay on my own. thinking about my own bussiness in a room. i feel stuck. i don't want such life. the field of mine is school. but i can't make it at school. don't know why?

if months ago, i failed to do something for Gaza thru the internet.
alhamdulillah, i did something for this Raba'a. alhamdulillah.

my 4 cents. 

this maybe small.  but am proud of it.
and this is how i cure the stress in me.

if my sisters on FB updated they've done many many many 'things' with their pupils in cultivating the awareness of islam (in term of ummah issue, islam practice, etc), i.... too far behind them.

am still fighting my own self; the mad me.
am still killing me; the angry me.
am still filtering the heart; purifying the intention.
am still paving the way; to make something happen.

this path...

Aku ingat pertama kali kita bertemu,
hatiku berdesir, bergetar melebihi biasanya

Kubisikkan pelan-pelan dalam hati..
..semoga rasa ini bertahan selamanya
Hingga kelak kita berakhir di tempat yang dijanjikan Allah untuk kita

Aku ingat hari-hari berat yang kita lalui,
perdebatan-perdebatan antara siapa yg harus mengalah
Rasa kesal yang membuncah,
pun sampai rasa tidak percaya yang mulai berkuasa

Tapi semua selalu berakhir,
dengan aku yang kembali menggenggam tanganmu mesra
Sadar bahwa, hidupku tanpamu tak akan sama
Sadar bahwa, kau adalah anugrah terbaik yang bisa aku minta pada Allah

Kau yang mengubahku dari seonggok daging bergerak tak bermakna
Menjadi sebenar-benarnya manusia,
Mengajarkanku bahwa hidup ini bukan tentang AKU semata

Kau yang membantuku mengkristalkan banyak hikmah
Dibalik senyum dan nestapa, disela-sela musibah

Kau, anugrah Allah bernama Tarbiyah
Aku ingin Menua, membangun istana syurga, menghembus penghujung nyawa
Dengan kita yang tetap seperti ini, sejalan seirama :’)

credit:

http://www.pkspiyungan.org/2013/05/pks-anugerah-terindah-darinya.html

 

so, i found this piece.... 

am searching for a place for solitude, yet shooting and boosting me to be something. somebody. 

but, so far, when i asked people around me, my beloved, all of them offered me something that needs me to offer something to them. ohoh. i was like... uh-uh? 

i'm searching something for me, and others are asking something from me? that just made me to wake up. 

maybe, am too 'old' on this path to ask from others to get something for myself, in that way. 

thus, i need to be that strong. i need to be that beneficial. because there're lots of others need me. 

again, am typing the sentence here, to be strong, i need to ask from the ONE who's STRONG, ALLAH. 

random no. 9

61.
Walau hujan badai kan terus melanda
Walau amuk gelombang tak henti menerjang
Walau terang mencegah, walau mentari kan membakar
Jangan letih menapaki kehidupan

Ujian bagaikan terik sinar sang surya...
Hadir kedunia bersama berjuta karunia...
Janganlah bertekuk lutut dalam pelukan putus asa...
janganlah bersimpuh dihadapan duka...

hadapilah segala tantangan...
sambutlah harimu dengan suka cita...
hadapilah segala ujian...
dalam kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan...

by: shoutul harokah

my credit goes to that person who just returned from 'Amman. he keeps playing this song and his alarm is this song!


62.
went to Zoo Negara with Ahmad, Muhammad and 'Ali. with my 'uniform' usually i wear at home or in personal transport. when i said i'm selekeh, that Ahmad replied, "all Islam asks to cover 'aurah..." okay! ha-ha. dush!

i found it's not interesting to go to zoo.

but, while eating ice cream with Muhammad and 'Ali before we went back, i was thinking about the zoo.

yeah. i found that actually i can do something that make me a better servant to Allah.
zoo means plenty of Allah's creatures. all the beautiful. all the cute. all the wild. all the big and tall animals! how proud was i....

and yeah. i actually should observe what's in the zoo.
children and zoo are familiar. am going to be with children, ain't i? that forgotten and proud me again...

in a conclusion, think before i feel. i've wasted my time at the zoo without doing something meaningful! :'(

and am sorry to Muhammad and 'Ali that i didn't bring my camera and didn't ask from Ahmad his camera to snap some pictures of you both! bad sister. 

63.
it's about passion. 8 hours journey. i didn't realise that it's more than two hours! :)
"weren't you afraid or scared?"
"eh? afraid? scared? of what?"
"if you took wrong road..."
"no.... we can turn around if we took wrong road..."

ngeeeeeeeeeeeee. and i'm a morning person.


64.
my lovely bluish sentimental the second was sick.
"operating system can't be found"

i was just... okay.... 

then, sent it to the place where i took it.

after returned from Selangor, it's at ayah's place.

turned it on.

huh? okey. nothing inside.  okay. restless.

no sentimental pictures.
no sentimental values.

yes, i don't have external hard disk! +.+

i was like.... it took me quite a time to get my feet back on the ground with a heart and soul.

later, this thought came into my brain.

you get it back with nothing inside. it's like purifying. doesn't it? you can restart all over again. reinstall all the good stuff for your soul. don't give a dirt into it. you should download Omar Series! Fetih! ehe. you can search again all the ebooks for your soul. won't you? still remember when you lost that Nokia? you have the pros for losing it, right? please, lighten your spirit!! you're not nothing here.


65.
MyGMJ.

cousins; E, Luq, bro in law; abe Syim, Momo, Aman

Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam

things i got... the third brooch i bought since i've lost it twice.

maybe, flashmob.. maybe. haha

credit: Ahmad's blackberry. :P


66.
today. less than 24 hours - time at home. hee. about 24 hours Junaid has gone to his hostel. i miss him. hahah. Junaid!
days with the five younger bros. growing up to be taller and bigger than me.
am losing my appetite. kohf2. it's okey. after nine days, i'll be back. insya Allah! heh.
the best excuse; i've to see the doctor!! =p


67.
school.
something i can't describe with words.
but, i really want to do something. i need to do something. regardless all the trouble i'd known.