random no. 13 - pre-ramadhan version

88. father.

what happened to my classmate was that, he didn't have the opportunity to meet his father for the last time before the funeral. my friends and i learnt to prioritise our parents more than our own wants in life, whatever it is. (e.g.: we wanted to be posted far from our hometown which would not be in Peninsular of Malaysia, but our parents did not allow us to fill the states in the application form.)

before that sad event, i shared something about father's presence on Facebook. what had happened was, a sister who no longer has a father alive commented on the post. again, i learnt to not really share anything on Facebook blindly.

this year, one of my task in my happy circle was to deliver tazkirah. i chose hadith about orphans in Al-Adab. it was because that time, i came across quite number of students who no longer have a father. and i learnt that orphans; the real definition of anak yatim is for those who've lost the father who used to support the family. the leader of the family.

ummi, ayah, i hope to see you both again before this Ramadhan ends.

and i'll leave ummi ayah under Allah's guardianship just like you both leave me here in His guardianship since five years ago.


89. silaturrahim.

silaturrahim. one of the ways to preserve the tie is to do good towards everyone without hoping for a reply for the deeds. what i meant is hoping for them to do good back to us. ^_^

and, remember that, Allah hate people who cut off the tie. may Allah guide us through and through and guard us from His anger.


90. was not really prepared for Ramadhan this year. am adapting Ramadhan mood.

may Allah bless, people.


91.  So Real by Raef ft. Maher Zain.

Lyrics: Raef, Maher Zain & Bara Kherigi
Melody & Arrangement: Maher Zain
Director: Ross Ching
Producer: Don Le
Actress: Bushra Maghrabi
Dop: Gabriel Lewis
1st AD: Jon Crawford
1st AC: Michael Skor
2nd AC / DIT: Andy Chen
Gaffer: David Lassiter 
Key Grip: Raul Rivera 
Best Boy Electric: Chad Nagel
Best Boy Grip: Gabe Verdesoto
Dolly Grip for Slider: Spencer Smith
Art Director: Erin Riegel
Sand Castle Builder: Greg & Kathy Lebon / Archisand Professional Sand Sculptors, Inc
(http://www.socalsandcastles.com)
Stylist: Angelica Lee
Makeup/Hair: Eva Cortez
Key PA: Justin Vancho
PA: Sam Puefua
BTS Photo / Video: Steven Lam
Special Thanks: Line 204

So Real - Lyrics:

They say that love never lasts
That love never lives to see another day
But what I know deep down inside
It's what I feel and it's so real
I gave it up all for You
And there ain't nothing that I won't do
All I know deep down inside
It's what I feel and it's so real with You!

Chorus:
Allah, everyday I'll try to be as true as I can to You
'Cause loving You the best I can
Will always be my number one and only plan
Yes everyday I'll try to be as true as I can to You
'Cause loving You the best I can
Will always be my number one and only plan

They say: "You're out of your mind"
"Don't you know that love fades away?"
They say: "It only brings you pain!"
But what I feel is so real!
I gave it up and turned to You
'Cause I know what your love can do
O Allah open up our hearts
And make us feel how it's so real with You!

CHORUS

lagu zaman kecik2 and yummy's fav. too i guess. rencah perjuangan

U.N.I.C.

When your world falls apart
When your pain claims your heart
I'll be there, I'll be around
And I will never let you down

Leave that pain, don't give up
You will fly up high again
Count on me, we are together
We'll make it through this stormy weather

C/o:
No matter what they say
No matter what they do
No matter what they think of you
You have got me and my heart too

No matter what they see
No matter what they feel
As long as you have got me
As long as You And I See...

Take my hand and take my heart
We can never be apart, now and forever
I won't look back, we'll stay together
Trust in me and we'll fly, don't surrender!

Don't lose hope when you are in need
Have faith in Allah, have faith in Him
So please be tough and please be strong
With all His love you can't go wrong

Lagu: Abai Os.
Lirik: Syalina Ahmad & Abai Os.
Hijjaz Records Sdn. Bhd.

COPIED AND PASTED FROM: http://liriknasyid.com/index.php/lirik/detail/1063/unic-you-and-i-see.html

*just to update this blog*

*sweep the floor and the ceiling of this blog* 

*quite homesick and feel like chatting with ummi and ayah* 

*bleus*

*melayang* (~_~)

Cinta.

love and passion.

they look sweet together.

Jika benar cinta itu buta Biar ku buta kerana cinta Kerna cinta Ku sempurna Jika benar cinta itu buta Biar hati memberi cahaya Dan kau pasti Permaisuri - Faizal Tahir

ehe.

if it's true that love is blind, let me be blind because of love.

like wise,

death is the only way u can meet Him.

thus, if it's true you Love Him and really want to meet Him, you should be eagerly waiting for death.


1,2,3
mom is at home,
tree is not 3,
i miss home,
1,4,3,
i miss mom.

1,2,3
frustrated because of human,
tree is not 3,
Allah will never disappoint me,
1,4,3
hold on to Allah, dear me.

Bukan Sang Hakim ^_^

Semalam terasa indah bersamanya
Suasana damai penuh ceria
Saling berbagi kisah kenangan dunia
Namun kini……..

Hari-hari berjalan terasa berat
Ada ketersiksaan di dalam dada
Pertemuan bagai beban derita
Sulit untuk terlukiskan oleh kata
Karena perasaan yang bicara..
..yang bicara

Melihat wajahnya…..
Mendengar suaranya…..
Tersebut namanya…..
Benci…..

Bukalah mata hati, bukan mata benci
Kita bukanlah Sang Hakim 
Yang layak untuk menghukum
Kita juga pernah tersalah, dan bersalah
Bencilah sekedarnya
Maafkanlah kekhilafannya…walau 

Kita bukanlah manusia yang sempurna
Janganlah merasa seolah tanpa noda
Kita hanya manusia yang penuh khilaf salah
Maafkanlah ia bila hatimu terluka
Karena kita bukan sang hakim

source: http://liriknasyid.com/index.php/lirik/detail/2920/maidany-bukan-sang-hakim.html

was doing my assignment and just realized this lyrics. hu. deep. indeed. 

WE ARE ONE BIG FAMILY.

Hear Me Beat My Drum - Ramadhan Kareem!

A song for children and families celebrating Ramadan, the lunar month of fasting and worship prescribed in the Qur'an. Written and performed by Canadian singer/songwriter Dawud Wharnsby, from his 2013 poetry anthology "Colours of Islam", Illustrated by Shireen Adams and distributed by Kube Publishing (UK).

Hear Me Beat My Drum
(words and music:D.Wharnsby)

The rhythm of your breathing is so soft,
as you lay up in your beds so sweetly dreaming.
Through your windows, smells of bread and sounds of drumming drift and waft,
to fill your nose and ear,
and tell you that the dawn is near.

Wrapped up like baked pastries in your sheets,
I know you're tucked away so warm and cozy.
There's tea, and dates and sweets, a suhur party in the streets,
so get up out of bed!
Come and greet the day ahead!

Hear me beat my drum, as down your street I come.
The moon is falling, I am calling,
to wake you for the day that's on her way.
Get yourselves out of bed, before the night is gone,
to welcome a new day of Ramadan.

Our busy little lives can make us crazy,
and it's so easy to get stuck in a routine.
Doing everything the same way everyday can make us lazy,
so let's take control today,
live our lives in a new way.

So wake up! Stop you're dreaming.
Let us wake the neighbourhood,
to share in all that's good, the pots of ful are steaming,
let's break our dull routine,
let all the world join in the scene.

Hear me beat my drum,
as down your street I come.
The moon is falling, I am calling,
to wake you for the day that's on her way.
Get yourselves out of bed, before the night is gone,
to welcome a new day of Ramadan.

"Hear Me Beat My Drum"
from the book/CD "Colours of Islam"
by Dawud Wharnsby
Illustrated by Shireen Adams
Kube Publishing 2013
www.wharnsby.com
www.kubepublishing.com

"Hear me Beat My Drum was written back in 2006 while I was living in Damascus. How beautiful to have observed Ramadan in that historic city ~ awakened each morning by a joyful drummer in the streets below. I dedicate this song to the people of Syria in their ongoing struggle against oppression."
- D.Wharnsby,
July 9, 2013

all i need.

YOU SET ME FREE
HELPED ME TO SEE
OF EVERY GIFT YOU GAVE TO ME
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

(URDU)
AYE SANAM NOORI
OH MY EFFULGENT BELOVED
TUJSE KAISEE DOOREE
WHY SHOULD THERE BE A DISTANCE
JENE KO TEREE
TO LIVE ALL IS SUFFICIENT
ROSHANEE ZAROORE 

THE NEED OF YOUR LIGHT


PLEASE SHOW ME,
YOUR MERCY
YOU CAN TAKE THE STARS FROM THE SKIES ABOVE
YOU CAN TAKE THE SEAS, THE AIR I BREATHE, YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOU CAN TAKE THE SUN, THE EARTH BENEATH, ‘CAUSE YOU’RE THE ONE I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

YOU SPOKE TO ME
GAVE ME BELIEF
SURROUNDED IN A WORLD OF GREED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

(PERSIAN)
LAHSEHA PAYA PAY
MOMENTS, ONE AFTER ANOTHER
TAY MISHE DAMA DAM
PASS ONE BY ONE
MIRESE VAKHTE
REACHES THE TIME
DIDAR KAM KAM, DIDAR KAM KAM
TO SLOWLY MEET, TO SLOWLY MEET

PLEASE SHOW ME
YOUR MERCY
YOU CAN HAVE THE STARS FROM THE SKIES ABOVE
YOU CAN HAVE THE SEAS, THE AIR I BREATHE, YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
TAKE AWAY THE SUN, THE EARTH BENEATH, YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

YOU SET ME FREE
HELPED ME TO SEE
OF EVERY GIFT YOU GAVE TO ME
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

(TURKISH)
VURGUNUM SANA
STRUCK ON YOU
ASLA VAZGECMEM
I WOULD NEVER GIVE UP (LOVING YOU)
KALBIMDE SEN VARSIN
YOU ARE THE ONE IN MY HEART
ASKINDAN DONMEM
I CAN’T TURN AWAY FROM YOUR LOVE
ASLA TERK ETMEM
NEVER COULD I ABANDON YOU

PLEASE SHOW ME
YOUR MERCY
YOU CAN HAVE THE STARS FROM THE SKIES ABOVE
YOU CAN HAVE THE SEAS, THE AIR I BREATHE, YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOU CAN HAVE THE SUN, THE EARTH BENEATH, YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED

PLEASE SHOW ME, YOUR MERCY
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
‘CAUSE YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED
TO BE ALL I CAN BE
AND I KNOW THAT YOU SEE
HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME

Music by Sami Yusuf
English words by Will Knox & Sami Yusuf
Urdu words by Mehboob
Turkish words by M. Demirci
Persian words by Ustadh Babak Radmanesh
Produced by Sami Yusuf

random no. 9

61.
Walau hujan badai kan terus melanda
Walau amuk gelombang tak henti menerjang
Walau terang mencegah, walau mentari kan membakar
Jangan letih menapaki kehidupan

Ujian bagaikan terik sinar sang surya...
Hadir kedunia bersama berjuta karunia...
Janganlah bertekuk lutut dalam pelukan putus asa...
janganlah bersimpuh dihadapan duka...

hadapilah segala tantangan...
sambutlah harimu dengan suka cita...
hadapilah segala ujian...
dalam kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan...

by: shoutul harokah

my credit goes to that person who just returned from 'Amman. he keeps playing this song and his alarm is this song!


62.
went to Zoo Negara with Ahmad, Muhammad and 'Ali. with my 'uniform' usually i wear at home or in personal transport. when i said i'm selekeh, that Ahmad replied, "all Islam asks to cover 'aurah..." okay! ha-ha. dush!

i found it's not interesting to go to zoo.

but, while eating ice cream with Muhammad and 'Ali before we went back, i was thinking about the zoo.

yeah. i found that actually i can do something that make me a better servant to Allah.
zoo means plenty of Allah's creatures. all the beautiful. all the cute. all the wild. all the big and tall animals! how proud was i....

and yeah. i actually should observe what's in the zoo.
children and zoo are familiar. am going to be with children, ain't i? that forgotten and proud me again...

in a conclusion, think before i feel. i've wasted my time at the zoo without doing something meaningful! :'(

and am sorry to Muhammad and 'Ali that i didn't bring my camera and didn't ask from Ahmad his camera to snap some pictures of you both! bad sister. 

63.
it's about passion. 8 hours journey. i didn't realise that it's more than two hours! :)
"weren't you afraid or scared?"
"eh? afraid? scared? of what?"
"if you took wrong road..."
"no.... we can turn around if we took wrong road..."

ngeeeeeeeeeeeee. and i'm a morning person.


64.
my lovely bluish sentimental the second was sick.
"operating system can't be found"

i was just... okay.... 

then, sent it to the place where i took it.

after returned from Selangor, it's at ayah's place.

turned it on.

huh? okey. nothing inside.  okay. restless.

no sentimental pictures.
no sentimental values.

yes, i don't have external hard disk! +.+

i was like.... it took me quite a time to get my feet back on the ground with a heart and soul.

later, this thought came into my brain.

you get it back with nothing inside. it's like purifying. doesn't it? you can restart all over again. reinstall all the good stuff for your soul. don't give a dirt into it. you should download Omar Series! Fetih! ehe. you can search again all the ebooks for your soul. won't you? still remember when you lost that Nokia? you have the pros for losing it, right? please, lighten your spirit!! you're not nothing here.


65.
MyGMJ.

cousins; E, Luq, bro in law; abe Syim, Momo, Aman

Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam

things i got... the third brooch i bought since i've lost it twice.

maybe, flashmob.. maybe. haha

credit: Ahmad's blackberry. :P


66.
today. less than 24 hours - time at home. hee. about 24 hours Junaid has gone to his hostel. i miss him. hahah. Junaid!
days with the five younger bros. growing up to be taller and bigger than me.
am losing my appetite. kohf2. it's okey. after nine days, i'll be back. insya Allah! heh.
the best excuse; i've to see the doctor!! =p


67.
school.
something i can't describe with words.
but, i really want to do something. i need to do something. regardless all the trouble i'd known.

for heaven's sake...

equals to - for the sake of Allah

تملي معاك

تملي معاك ولو حتى بعيد عني في قلب هواك
تملي معاك تملي فبالي وبقلبي ولا بنساك تملي وحشني لو حتى بكون وياك

تملي حبيبي بشتقلك تملي عيني بتندهلك ولو حولي تقل الكون بكون يا حبيبي محتجلك

تملي معاك معاك قلبي معاك روحي يا اغلى حبيب يا اغلى حبيب ومهما تكون بعيد عني لقلب برئ
يا عمري الجاي والحاضر يا اغلى نصيب

I'm always with you
Even if you are far from me your love is in my heart
I'm always with you always on my mind and in my heart
And I'll never forget you

I always miss you even if I am with you
I always long for you my darling
My eye always calls for you
And if the weight of the universe were upon me
I would still, my darling, need you
Always with you, my heart is with you, my soul is with you
Oh most precious darling oh most precious darling
No matter how far you are from me you are close to my heart
Oh my coming and present live oh most precious destiny

- عمرو دياب

_________________________________________

waving flag

lyrics:

when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a wavin' flag

when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a waving flag
and then it goes back (3x)
ahhho ahhho ahhho

born to a throne
stronger than rome
but violent prone
poor people zone
but its my home
all i have known
where i got grown
streets we would roam

out of the darkness
i came the farthest
among the hardest survivor
learn form these streets
it can be bleak
accept no defeat
surrender retreat
(so we struggling)
fighting to eat
(and we wondering)
when we will be free
so we patiently wait
for that faithful day
its not far away
but for now we say

when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom just
like a waving flag
and then it goes back (3x)

ahhho ahhho ahhho

so many wars
settling scores
bring us promises
leaving us poor
i heard them say
love is the way
love is the answer
thats what they say

but look how they treat us
make us believers
we fight their battles
then they deceive us
try to control us
they couldn't hold us
cause we just move forward
like buffalo soldiers
(but we strugglin)
fighting to eat
(and we wondering)
when we will be free
so we patiently wait
for that faithful day
its not far away
but for now we say

when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a waving flag
and then it goes back (3x)

and then it goes when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a wavin' flag
and then it goes back (3x)
ahhhooo ahhhoooo ahhhooo

and everybody will be singing it
and you and i will be singing it
and we all will be singing it
wo wah wo ah wo ah

when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a wavin' flag
and then it goes back (3x)

and then it goes when i get older i will be
stronger they'll call me freedom
just like a wavin' flag
and then it goes back (3x)
a oh a oh a oh

when i get older
when i get older
i will be stronger

just like a wavin' flag (3x)
flag flag
just like a wavin' flag

of duckcapture(DC)s no.1

my third elder sister was under pressure, i gave her this picture to make her smile. she did smile she told me. ^_^ yes. she's die-hard-fan of Sami Yusuf

apa rasa tidak boleh dirasa menggunakan lidah? 

RASA HATI

suara apa tidak mampu didengari anggota telinga terzahir?

SUARA HATI

ikatan apa yang utuh lagi kuat tidak mampu terlihat mata kasar?

IKATAN HATI

apa yang berbolak balik?

HATI

siapa yang menguasai hati itu?

ALLAH

*diam*

hadiah terbaik? 

DOA

doa terbaik?

DOA RABITHAH

doa tu pada siapa?

ALLAH

*diam*

*air mata mengalir laju dengan mata tertutup*

random no. 2

we'll always love You. hu.

that's number ten.

ok.

11. jet lag. yeah. even i'm not studying abroad, when i return home, since the 'eid Fitr break few months ago, i tell myself, i am jet lag in my hometown. the first thing i jet lag is the road system. yada. due to the construction and city development.. Raya break, that time, i just  missed that one junction had turned into a one-way road. this time, i found that i just forgot the traffic light near my school old building. from a way, that road, you can't turn right, i just did last week Sunday. then, near a road to go to my primary school, divider appeared to be there. o my. lucky me that i didn't think to do something crazy like at the traffic light!

the second thing is prayer time. in the Northern part of Malaysia, i recognised that, there, we got prayer time later than in Darul Naim. hmmm... so, i was quite... i just need... it's like... like this... when i live in the Northern Part, i will prepare myself for dusk at this time, but in my hometown, i just need to be earlier. aha. jet lag. ok? although it's just minutes that differ, still, am jet lag. :P

finally, the weather. now, i'm writing about the weather. at the hostel, i lived at the third floor. the hostel surrounded by hills. oh. it's down the hill, in a way. surrounded by green scenery though one of the hills now brown-orange. bald. so, i'm saying, there, i was comfortable. with the temperature in the room. ok. nice. outside the room, on the ground, my skin still felt the pain by sun light ok?  when i arrived home for this break, i found that, at night, it's just too hot. o my. too warm. yes. after near one week, i told ummi. then, ummi answered me that we have less trees around our home now. and, when i was typing about my jet lag toward the road system just now, i just realized, the development actually contributed to the temperature changes in my home, too, right! so, my pride to look at the road building decreased. i love nature more.

12. boycott. i support boycott. i was trained educated about boycotting israel since i was young; as far as i remember, since i was in early secondary school. and i have my faith in boycott. last evening, ummi and i fetch Momo at KB. then i was like looking forward to see the condition of McD in our city... ummi told me, we don't have McD in Kota Bharu. it's moved to Wakaf Che Yeh. i asked, even in Tesco, no McD? ummi said, no. ok. that made me relieved. and am proud that KB has no McD. pfft.
 we are not Tesco's customers either. am proud of it.
ok. after i googled McD in KB, i just forgot other places. KB Mall. -_-" hahaha. boo. Jalan Tok Hakim. Taman Sekebun Bunga. ding dong. ah!! *frust*


13. kids. i really want to practice myself to be communicating with them. but, i found that i can't perform with people who knows my family members. i can't perform when i'm near my family. i don't know. but this syndrome is getting on my nerve more more more and more when i'm getting older. not only regarding of communicating with kids la, anything about performing my skills or anything in the same meaning or scope. am sorry.

14. DnT. i just feel these entries;
http://bulatansyurga.blogspot.com/2012/11/wahai-ukhti.html
http://syafiqahrahmat.blogspot.com/2012/11/hijab.html
http://imagining-life.blogspot.com/2012/11/wake-up-call.html

15. i found that Rudy Hirdy's pieces; Aku Bukan Nabi, Dia Bukan Nabi are like male chauvinism? hehe. but, i like the story. :)

16. visit Iman and her baby girl named Aisyah! oho. 2 A.M. tomorrow, they're going back to Jordan. have  a safe journey Iman and her baby and her mother. :)

jaa.

it's 2.30 A.M.

bismillah.

i can't sleep. :-s even yesterday, at this hour too, i was forcing myself to be sleeping in the bed. rolling to left. then, to the right. until i just fell asleep unconsciously. my day began with a tiring feeling since i forced my brain to sleep. yes. i found that way to sleeping is tiring. don't you? :-s

okeh. since i can't sleep, i think i should use this time to update this blog. actually, i'd planned to update after the first paper.

to compare my 'eid in zulhijjah to the previous year, alhamdulillah. this year i'd experienced the better one. :)

yeah. my entry in last year (click) didn't really describe my 'eid by words. i only uploaded two photo collages. coloured and black and white versions.

thus, in this entry... er. how to start?

i actually planned to celebrate this 'eid with my beloved usrahmate, k.mimi in her village at Bukit Tembaga. but, at the eleventh hour, i'd received a message that we'd another hour to be spent with the lecturer.......... i was... hm. pasrah is the word in Malay. what to do. hu. it's okay.

i stayed here in the campus with other friends. yeah. there're many others of my classmates, batchmates, campusmates were here in the campus. ^_^ no woes.

my classmates and i, immediately planned something to do on the day of 'eid. we went to the mall to buy groceries to cook our 'eid food. ah-ha. we planned to make Nasi Lemak for 'eid breakfast and Soto for dinner. :)

what is more, what made me so lighten up was that most of us had the excitement and desire to perform 'eid prayer this time. i was so happy. we put efforts for it. may Allah guard us from sins on the day of 'eid.

after the 'eid prayer, we brought the food we'd cooked to the TV room (where we watch TV in the hostel).

our sambal didn't have garlic. we only managed to provide hot lemon tea for ourselves. pandan leaves plucked from my hostel center yard. banana tree's leave plucked from another block of hostel backyard. and, yes. we break the college rules. ~

oh. the first thing made me felt this 'eid experience precious was that on the first night of 'eid, i heard the sounds of takbir from the campus surau. the absence of takbir sounds was one of the reasons i felt so empty in the previous year. ^_^

 if u're to ask me, why are you very concern about the takbir? urm. i don't know how to explain this with the reference of hadith or anything related to textual evidence in this deen. urm. but, in the previous year 'eidul-fitri celebration i found myself frustrated i couldn't really do the takbir on my own. and for 'eidul fitri, it's short time limit to takbir. so, i was looking forward for 'eidul-adha. b'coz after the 'eidul-adha, we've Tasyriq days. that means we've extra days for takbir on the Tasyriq days. ^_^ to hear the takbir is my excitement, at this moment. alhamdulillah. :) thus, for this year, in Malaysia, we have about 15 hours to go for 'eid takbir. :)

in the afternoon of Zulhijjah 10th, my friends received calls and SMS telling us we got some food from our beloved batchmate living in Guar Perahu. the durian crepe was very delicious!

we finished the food after 'asr. so, we assumed that was sufficient to be counted as dinner. yeah. i too was so full! and i think it's barakah that our stomach really took those food as dinner. (i didn't ask my friends regarding this, but it seemed that nobody asked for dinner at the night.) :)

we postponed the Soto plan for the next day breakfast.

our Soto. the soup got chicken flavour with no chicken! kohf. kohf. garlic... at last. ^_^ for the sambal before, we finished cooking the sambal before 'eid prayer. the garlic, we took after the 'eid prayer. hu. bergedil. can't really be called as bergedil since no meat mixed with the potato. so, i named them as potato cakes. :D

so, that's it. i think i have written the points i wanted to highlight for my 'eid in this Zulhijjah. :)

for those who asked me,

"why didn't you return to your hometown for 'eid?" 

or anything with the same meaning.

i don't have a direct answer for that inquiry. honestly. it's just my feeling i don't wanna go back. nervous for examinations is one of the feelings. urm. and this time, it doesn't have any relation to my escapism plan. :D no. it's not escapism. my sisters; Yummy, Lala and Yiba didn't return either. Ahmad, definitely wasn't coming home.

and, deep inside, i do miss home. kohf. kohf. within these two-three days, i too did feel uneasy toward ummi and ayah for not going back home. er... but, i can't promise that i will be home for next year. because i did make du'a to experience better 'eid in Zulhijjah again here. err... i did tell myself, don't expect too much and don't be too ambitious. :)

urm. in this Zulhijjah, i was disturbed by unknown numbers. :( what a test of life. within this one week, there're already two. i'm not asking for more.

urm. every time i feel i'm disturbed with those disturbance related to  ikhtilat thingy, i say this line,
"stop playing games with my heart". yeah. a line from a song by BSB. and i too will remember this quote of k.'Aisyah Amaran, 2011 - Itu dulu. Nak katanya : JAGA IKHTILAT terutama bila sesuatu "mengerumuni" hati.
and i realized that i didn't really jaga my ikhtilat currently. tett. ok. that's it.

my eyes still wide-open.

it's the morning of 'eid. Zulhijjah 10th, 1433. waiting for 'eid prayer. :)

oh.

i would like to express my gratitude to everyone who had involved in my 'eid experience this year. :) may Allah bless us.
may Allah guide us.
forever.
while we're alive.
may Allah live us with faith.
till we die.
may Allah take us while we're in the faith.
till we enter the Jannah. (amin! insya Allah)
may Allah put us in the Jannah with faith in us.
bittaufiq wannajah for the exams! :)

till then. 

perhaps, a good ending caused a better start (part one)

it's a good holiday. ok. i rather type it's the best break i ever had, even i'd been whining it's bored in the first 4 weeks of it.

the first four weeks i was searching for something until i wrote previous entry. damn meself. ok. the purpose of this entry is to share something good for me
which are Twins of Faith (TOF) and Himpunan 1000 Jiwa and 1 Hati (1k1). :)

Dec 23rd, 2011
i departed to KL with my family (ayah, ummi, 'Ali, Muhammad and yummy). we arrived PJS 7 around at 9 p.m.

Dec 24th, 2011
Lala, Yiba and i were dropped at KTM station at Setiajaya. we're late. bianata for AI and family for being waited for us. hu. we're fetch by AI (her mother drove us). we arrived PICC at 10 a.m. or few minutes after 10. met mlmh Sakinah and mlmh Noraini (she'd moved to Kedah!) at registration counter. oh. the moment i was at the parking lot, that was where my handphone began to be not with me. hu. alhamdulillah, i wasn't clumsy (or what) over it. thus, that time i was sure that it's in the car.:) my sisters and i went up to Plenary hall after registered our names for workshop in the evening. i registered for two; with Raya Shorkartfard and ust.Zaharuddin. but i only attended the one with sister Raya. :D hu.

the first talk we listened to was from Sh. Aala. it's about building blocks. wait. hm. it had something to do with family. then, Sheikh related it with right for children where it leaded us to the topic of choosing spouse. :) personally, i was quite excited when he mentioned this because he told us the criteria of good spouse for women. i think i never heard about that yet, instead of i always heard about the criteria in women for men to find. am i right? ah-ha. if i'm not, then i'm not up-to-date i supposed.

the criteria for men = [2 from Qur'an (Qawiy (strong in FAITH (IMAN)) + Al-Amin (trustworthy)] + [2 from sunnah (religious background + moral)

then, we're told about

criterias for friends too; remind you of Allah, guide you to the path of Allah, speech increase your iman.

:) i also wrote,

who you told who you are.

ok, i forgot the meaning. blame me. then we're advised again to help, not to hurt and we too were reminded to remember who you are.
the next speaker was Ust. Zaharuddin, about modern economics and principles. sincerely, i wasn't that enthusiasm about this topic. err.. i listened to it though. and yet, i didn't really jot down something in my desk diary. the written words for this lecture were maqasid shari'ah and

supplication and wealth.

:)

after lunch, there was performance by Shinji Moriwaki and Mu'adz. i wasn't in the hall. -.-

afterwards, we had Sh. Navaid Aziz. Lala and Yiba like him very much. obviously he's cute in a way. ^.^ masha Allah. his topic entitled I'm Muslim and I'm Proud. i'd noted on

LOVE, MERCY AND COMPASSION, FORGIVENESS, JUSTICE, IHSAN

and three words;

Knowledge, Action, Relationship.

i can't elaborate these points since i've forgotten them. T^T

there's no paradise for those who don't have iman, not a mu'min until the person loves and no love if you don't spread salaam.

the story of Abdullah ibn Huzafah;

free a nation thru a single kiss.

after Sh. Navaid Aziz's session, we walked out to the room downstairs for the session with Raya. here, i found the same-not-good-attitude of Malaysian. we're given choices; either lecture + Q&A session or documentary (My life with Islam) show + lecture. guess which one was chosen? of coz the one without Q&A session. ha. ha. ok. maybe it's not related to the not-good-attitude because the documentary's said like quite exclusive. hu. it's the story of our sister Raya; how she left Islam and return to it. :) her session entitled Challenges for Working Mom. ha-ha. well, insha Allah, my elder sister is an architect to be in one year, my only younger sister is a nurse to be in two years, and i myself will be 'something' in three years after graduate. and we want to be a mother. ha-ha. thus, the topic is relevant for us, that's the point. yeah~ i like what Raya shared with us. hu. and i found an answer thru the talk. u remember, that in the past break, i was searching for job and i just couldn't find one. one of questions to be pondered from Raya was

can you maintain your muslim dignity at work?

:) and based on her experience of losing her children because of her workaholic-ism, she advised us to

never ever bring works at home.

it's a big NO. unless u want to lose ur family. she showed us pictures and slides... hm. Allah makes it easy for us.

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).

(Women, 4:34)

then, after maghrib break, Dr. Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips took over the stage in the Plenary hall. his talk was on Islamic Culture or Cultural Islam? what's the different?

Islamic culture is the culture that is encouraged by Islam to be practised by us based on the Quran and the sunnah.

cultural Islam refers to the action of practising other culture which is not in the Quran and sunnah, but then, it became synonymous with Islam.

there're four main points; pre islamic culture, adopted culture & religious fanaticists. ok, i lost one point; the third. new things i learnt; about bride-burning. then, here we're told about Islam can't be inherited. Islam means the submission to the will of Allah. just like the song Iman Mutiara by Raihan lah. :)

the last talk for the first day was by Sh. Hussein Yee. Sheikh prefers to use the term "not yet muslim" for those who're not yet a muslim because of the hadith every child born as a muslim. oh. his topic was One Faith, One Family. we're bonded by aqidah. and he kept emphasising on Islam is for all humankind. it's not only for Arab people nor only Malay nor only for slave nor anything that can discriminate us. in the khutbah wida', the prophet Muhammad s.a.w used the term ayyuhannas. Nas - people generally. then, syaitan believe in Allah and never syirik. human? hu.

I
Shall
Love
All
Mankind

Allah created us different, but we're not promoting those differences! we're one family! :)

lastly, we had Boona Mohammed performance. :)

will be continued...

bosan?

By the Glorious Morning Light, And by the Night when it is still,- Thy Guardian-Lord hath not forsaken thee, nor is He displeased. And verily the Hereafter will be better for thee than the present. And soon will thy Guardian-Lord give thee (that wherewith) thou shalt be well-pleased. Did He not find thee an orphan and give thee shelter (and care)? And He found thee wandering, and He gave thee guidance. And He found thee in need, and made thee independent. Therefore, treat not the orphan with harshness, Nor repulse the petitioner (unheard); But the bounty of the Lord - rehearse and proclaim! (93:1-11)

By the Night as it conceals (the light); By the Day as it appears in glory; By (the mystery of) the creation of male and female;-Verily, (the ends) ye strive for are diverse. So he who gives (in charity) and fears ((Allah)), And (in all sincerity) testifies to the best,- We will indeed make smooth for him the path to Bliss. But he who is a greedy miser and thinks himself self-sufficient, And gives the lie to the best,- We will indeed make smooth for him the path to Misery; Nor will his wealth profit him when he falls headlong (into the Pit). Verily We take upon Ourselves to guide, And verily unto Us (belong) the End and the Beginning. Therefore do I warn you of a Fire blazing fiercely; None shall reach it but those most unfortunate ones Who give the lie to Truth and turn their backs. But those most devoted to Allah shall be removed far from it,- Those who spend their wealth for increase in self-purification, And have in their minds no favour from anyone for which a reward is expected in return, But only the desire to seek for the Countenance of their Lord Most High; And soon will they attain (complete) satisfaction. (92:1-21)

bosan. aku teringat, ada dalam salah satu entri ketika zaman habis sekolah menengah 3 tahun yang lalu, aku pernah mengingatkan temanku mengenai kesibukan... kesibukan saudara-saudara di Palestin. hu. hu.

dan cuti kali ini, sungguh, tiada perkataan yang boleh menggantikan perkataan bosan itu. dan aku malu sendiri kerana setiap kali terdetik bosan dan ingin melafazkan dua suku kata itu, aku teringat pesanku kepada teman tersayang itu tiga tahun yang lalu. Allah kan marah kita cakap tak serupa bikin? :(

dan begitu juga samanya setiap kali mendengar lagu-lagu... kenapa? lagu yang baik-baik macam Number One For Me by Maher Zain... kau baca lirik lagu tu... if i could.. if i could... mom i'm all grown up now... ilal aakhir. aku terasa mahu menyanyi bersama VLC media player ini, tetapi tersekat. sebab sepanjang cuti ini, have i really made ummi smile? have i really put a smile on her? :(

apabila bosan... nak aje aku quote apa yang dah Rnysa quote dalam Love Ride of Hikari... cerita Hazel dan Umar... tapi tak boleh quote sebab buku tu tak ada. tapi ada satu quote aku jumpa di plain.not.

“kesibukan fisik dapat membantu banyak memutus kesibukan hati memikirkan banyak hal , pikiran yang hanya mengundang kesedihan”- Sunset Bersama Rosie, Tere Liye.

ok. mungkin isi dalam quotation di atas kurang tepat dengan topik kebosanan. tapi boleh dikaitkan, apabila anda tidak ada apa-apa untuk difikirkan dan dilakukan, maka fikiran anda akan menerawang jauh, jauh dan jauh! itu sekurang-kurangnya fikir jugak.. huhu.

macam aku, cuti kali ini, serius aku kata, terasa null. hu. sedih.

hajat awal cuti, kerja. ha. ha. tapi tak ada orang nak ambil aku kerja! serius. dan ada pulak yang boleh ambil kerja tapi tak kena dengan syarat aku sendiri la. hu. antara syarat sendiri tentu-tentulah berprinsip. contohnya tempat kerja itu waktu kerja cantek, tak sampai malam, tapi baju kerja pula bermasalah. lengan pendek. masuk dalam seluar. hu. yeaha. di institut macam tak pakai ye? entah. apabila balik rumahku syurgaku automatik lah susah nak buat benda 'lain-lain'. haha. hm...

dan sesungguhnya, apabila menyatakan bosan, aku malu kepada laron, ikan dan semut. :'(

4 minggu yang berlalu dengan malu.

antara perkara yang aku berjaya kenalpasti mengenai ke-bosan-an yang melanda diri aku adalah kerana dua benda; internet dan novel.

cuti-cuti sebelum ini, internet dapat memberikan aku satu 'kepuasan' dan meng'isi' hidup aku di rumah. kenapa? aku boleh baca blog. aku boleh update blog. aku boleh chatting. aku boleh tengok cerita. aku boleh dengar lagu. aku boleh tengok gambar. aku baca surat khabar dan isu semasa. tapi sekarang.......

aku dapati semua tu tak dapat memenuhi 'kehendak' aku. tak dapat meng'isi' aku. seorang aku yang terasa 'kosong' tidak ter'isi' lagi dengan semua tu. chatting? dah tak ada siapa sangat dah yang betul-betul sempat nak chatting. sebab ramai dah sedar tanggungjawab masing-masing. aku sendiri pun serba salah nak menyapa. nak cakap apa kalau sapa? hu. :( blog? baca blog pun terasa macam semua blog topik macam tu je? :( teruknya aku tika ini. ada juga yang menarik, tapi, paaaaaaaanjaaaaaaaaaaaaanggnyaaaaaaaaaaa! dengar lagu? semua lagu yang aku dengar buat aku lagi rasa useless... dengar lagu ni.. tapi x buat pun?!

cuti-cuti sebelum ini lagi.. biasanya aku habiskan masa dengan membaca. ya. marathon jugak novel... kali ni, banyak juga novel/genre buku lain aku belum habiskan. OK. buku yang genre selain novel memang jarang aku habiskan cepat pun! kau tahu kan? tapi novel... aku dapati jalan cerita novel sekarang teramat tipikal. hu. walaupun dulu aku merasakan novel terbitan JS terbaik~ tapi tengok juga penulis. hua. sungguh aku rindu hasil kerja penulis2 terawal JS... bukan la tak nak baca hasil kerja orang baru, tapi sebab aku rasa 'kosong' aku tu tak bertambah dan berganda baca hasil lain. hu. dan tak membawa aku ke perspektif lain. deng. aku komen macam bagus kan? hu. aku pun sebenarnya pasang niat nak berkarya... tapi, memikirkan minat membaca aku pun merudum, manakah sumber untuk jadi ilham hasil karya? hu. pemerhatian boleh jadi sumber, tapi aku bukan seorang pemerhati yang baik~ (teringat tips daripada A. Samad Said 3 tahun lalu...)

aku berazam, balik daripada mengiringi remaja-remaja adik-adikku sayang tu, aku tak nak mengeluh bosan lagi! tetapi, masih ada lagi tembok mengeluh bosan itu! hu.

padahal... masa yang ada tu boleh je aku isi dengan benda yang boleh menjadikan aku seorang anak solehah sebenarnya. boleh je aku isi dengan perkara yang mendekatkan aku ke arah membentuk seorang adik dan kakak solehah. boleh je aku penuhkan dengan anasir yang membawa aku menuju ke laluan untuk mengadun seorang tetangga yang solehah. paling penting, masa yang terlalu banyak telah berlalu itu, sebenarnya tanpa aku sedar, aku telah melepaskan peluang untuk berlari infiniti km/jam dalam mengejar ke-solehah-an seorang hamba.

segannya apabila teman bertanya, apa khabar iman?

malu lagi dan malu lagi kepada laron, ikan dan semut.