unfriend.

i once unfriend people on Facebook. heh.

then, of course i add them back because they are my beloved of my heart.

it was just that i did not know when i blocked them on FB, after i removed them from the block list, i would be unfriend them automatically.

indeed, to add them back in the list was the hardest thing to be done.

it's between ego and doing the right things.

well. experiencing worst argument in life, taught me to know myself.

yes. i didn't think much while i was clicking on the 'block' word on FB.

later, after apologized and being able to rationalize things and also identified my faults too, shamelessly, i did not only re-add, i also told the person face-to-face.

and shamelessly, i wrote this history here.

and, to have spacious heart and soul really need to be tough. =D

and, i do think, life is not about blaming others. life is about how we survive.

oh. it's zulhijjah already!

yeay! two days left to go home for three days! ~_~

how are you?

sensitive.

i once wrote about sensitivity of the heart depends on the sensitivity of the iman. here: sent-see-thief.

.
..
...

life; like a tyre.

am adapting changes.

yes. am looking back at my life. at my own storyline. 

i just realized that in 5 years recently, in this year; 2014, it seems repeating... not exactly repeating but there are some reminiscence matters occurred. the situation. but, in a different way and i have faith that Allah knows best. 

of people around me. 

i just realized. life is like that. there are people we can have their hands on our back when it's a hard time for us to respond the responsibility. and we can't expect everyone to do that for us. yes. am saying that there are people who doesn't really care to scratch our back when we have to respond to our responsibility for that their wants and wills are not aligned with the responsibility we need to respond to. and again, yes, am sad. 

of the what-so-ever-happened made me sad. 

i just realized that, some things happened that caused me to be sad which were of sickening humans' attitude were me in the past. the meaning is i did some those sickening attitude towards others in the past. thus, it's a cash-payment i'd say. T^T and i know to not repeat the wrongdoings as long as am in this conscious iman state. 

in addition, no matter how sad i am, i should not forget there are others who has worst events in their life and they have to bear more excruciating pain compared to me. thus, it's strengthen the emotional fragility. i remembered one song lyrics by Mirwana G9, 

Allah tests us often
with suffering and with sorrow
not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow

have faith. keep doing our best. keep improving. 

O ye who believe! seek help with patient perseverance and prayer; for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.

(2:153) 

Or do ye think that ye shall enter the Garden (of bliss) without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? they encountered suffering and adversity, and were so shaken in spirit that even the Messenger and those of faith who were with him cried: "When (will come) the help of Allah." Ah! Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near!

(2:214)

 Kind words and the covering of faults are better than charity followed by injury. Allah is free of all wants, and He is Most-Forbearing.

(2: 263)

sisterhood.

it was my final day at school for the internship.

my friends and i returned to college later than usual. it's about 4 p.m. already when i arrived my room.

my stomach had war inside.

it was that, i made it to go to the place i need to go.

so, i was there. with the unexpected condition. i couldn't even stand straight.

my physical state didn't allow me to join the activities.

my body had some rest on the bed.

i woke up. a sister who's a pharmacist came to me. checking on me.

"u have a high fever!"

"..."

"come... eat these bananas, then eat these pills..."

"...."

another sister who's a nurse interrupted,
"u need to take a bath too..."

"......"

i showed them a face. ~_~

i was... yeah. it's been quite a time i hadn't have a fever.

it's been quite a time i hadn't have such concern from others. touched.

thanks, sisters.

we're not related by blood, we're related by faith.

this sweet moment made my heart whispers, 'i want to taste these-kind-of-sweet-little-things in my life for-ever....'

insya Allah.

And (moreover) He hath put affection between their hearts: not if thou hadst spent all that is in the earth, couldst thou have produced that affection, but Allah hath done it: for He is Exalted in might, Wise. (8: 63) 

 

p/s: my writing skills rusting!

random no. 13 - pre-ramadhan version

88. father.

what happened to my classmate was that, he didn't have the opportunity to meet his father for the last time before the funeral. my friends and i learnt to prioritise our parents more than our own wants in life, whatever it is. (e.g.: we wanted to be posted far from our hometown which would not be in Peninsular of Malaysia, but our parents did not allow us to fill the states in the application form.)

before that sad event, i shared something about father's presence on Facebook. what had happened was, a sister who no longer has a father alive commented on the post. again, i learnt to not really share anything on Facebook blindly.

this year, one of my task in my happy circle was to deliver tazkirah. i chose hadith about orphans in Al-Adab. it was because that time, i came across quite number of students who no longer have a father. and i learnt that orphans; the real definition of anak yatim is for those who've lost the father who used to support the family. the leader of the family.

ummi, ayah, i hope to see you both again before this Ramadhan ends.

and i'll leave ummi ayah under Allah's guardianship just like you both leave me here in His guardianship since five years ago.


89. silaturrahim.

silaturrahim. one of the ways to preserve the tie is to do good towards everyone without hoping for a reply for the deeds. what i meant is hoping for them to do good back to us. ^_^

and, remember that, Allah hate people who cut off the tie. may Allah guide us through and through and guard us from His anger.


90. was not really prepared for Ramadhan this year. am adapting Ramadhan mood.

may Allah bless, people.


91.  So Real by Raef ft. Maher Zain.

Lyrics: Raef, Maher Zain & Bara Kherigi
Melody & Arrangement: Maher Zain
Director: Ross Ching
Producer: Don Le
Actress: Bushra Maghrabi
Dop: Gabriel Lewis
1st AD: Jon Crawford
1st AC: Michael Skor
2nd AC / DIT: Andy Chen
Gaffer: David Lassiter 
Key Grip: Raul Rivera 
Best Boy Electric: Chad Nagel
Best Boy Grip: Gabe Verdesoto
Dolly Grip for Slider: Spencer Smith
Art Director: Erin Riegel
Sand Castle Builder: Greg & Kathy Lebon / Archisand Professional Sand Sculptors, Inc
(http://www.socalsandcastles.com)
Stylist: Angelica Lee
Makeup/Hair: Eva Cortez
Key PA: Justin Vancho
PA: Sam Puefua
BTS Photo / Video: Steven Lam
Special Thanks: Line 204

So Real - Lyrics:

They say that love never lasts
That love never lives to see another day
But what I know deep down inside
It's what I feel and it's so real
I gave it up all for You
And there ain't nothing that I won't do
All I know deep down inside
It's what I feel and it's so real with You!

Chorus:
Allah, everyday I'll try to be as true as I can to You
'Cause loving You the best I can
Will always be my number one and only plan
Yes everyday I'll try to be as true as I can to You
'Cause loving You the best I can
Will always be my number one and only plan

They say: "You're out of your mind"
"Don't you know that love fades away?"
They say: "It only brings you pain!"
But what I feel is so real!
I gave it up and turned to You
'Cause I know what your love can do
O Allah open up our hearts
And make us feel how it's so real with You!

CHORUS

random no. 12

82. al-haya'. the characteristic of shy.
make sure u feel shy to Allah to feel shy because of human. i don't know if shy is literally equal to al-haya'.
my message is, doing something, check, if people see me doing this, what would i feel? ok. why should i feel that way? is there anything so wrong? is it allowed in islam? if it's syar'ie, i don't have anything to be shy or worried if people see me. :)

83. heart. feelings. why u're so uncontollable?! -_-"

84. B2. yada. the license. i've given it up. expired. the L one. so... i can't ride a bike now till Allah knows when. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

85. i don't like to be the shadow. i want to be seen as me. i want to be accepted as me. i want to be known as me. i want to be recognised as me. yes. the right sentence of my discomfort is i don't like to be the shadow. i need a place that is as spacious as a field, not under a tree. and i don't want to be a shade to others, as well. because flowers bloom their best with the sun's presence even though at a shady area. (now am manipulating you! :P)

86. mission: one book read in two days. this mission is not accomplished. and i just have two weeks to go back to the campus. and i don't wanna go back to the campus. T_T final year is scary.

87. went out with my younger bro and two male cousins.
they laughed at girls who are easily shaken when boys disturbed them with sweet-lovey-dovey or show extra concern to them. -_-"
in my heart, guys, that's why u don't need to do all those things. u need to help us to take care of our heart and feelings. T_T

Cinta.

love and passion.

they look sweet together.

Jika benar cinta itu buta Biar ku buta kerana cinta Kerna cinta Ku sempurna Jika benar cinta itu buta Biar hati memberi cahaya Dan kau pasti Permaisuri - Faizal Tahir

ehe.

if it's true that love is blind, let me be blind because of love.

like wise,

death is the only way u can meet Him.

thus, if it's true you Love Him and really want to meet Him, you should be eagerly waiting for death.


1,2,3
mom is at home,
tree is not 3,
i miss home,
1,4,3,
i miss mom.

1,2,3
frustrated because of human,
tree is not 3,
Allah will never disappoint me,
1,4,3
hold on to Allah, dear me.

Ar-Raqa'iq.

Ar-Raqa'iq by Muhammad Ahmad Ar Rasyid. Robbani Press.

i don't know the title in English. Pelembut Hati or Penghalus Jiwa are the translation into Malay version.

i borrowed this book from my mother in my current happy circle family. :)

i finished reading this book on Muharram 1st, 1435, in the morning. alhamdulillah.

i have borrowed this book since the previous semester. he. he. well. this book is too... hmmm... it makes the feeling of the guilt of sins arouse. that makes me feels very... makes me not to deserve to do this, to do that, to live in this life (feels dirty? kinda)... nevertheless, it doesn't demotivate me till i feel like ending my life. there're hope. there're rooms of improvement.

it motivates me with faith.

faith in death. faith in the Judgement Day. faith in the paradise and the hell. 

and... along the way i was finishing the reading, what's been discussed when i sat in my happy circle were kind of coherent with my reading. we discussed about how's our prophet Muhammad s.a.w was taken care by Allah in the events of chest operations, about the alam barzakh (world in grave; the transition from world of life to the Judgement Day)...

there are many sentap-an for the soul in the book. ^_______^"

there are many sya'ir for the soul.

urm. that's all, i think.

yeah. the aim of reading the book was to soften my hard-rock heart.

and i think, the objective is achieved.

next target is to make what i read be implemented in my daily life.

life with faith. yada. that's the hard point. and am afraid. hu-hu.

i'll make some notes regarding some points i think interesting and will be something great to be shared. ^_^ insya Allah.

(yada. i have another paper for examinations. but, i found myself is kinda slacking-lazying-around-not-revising, so, it's better for me to do other things that can improve myself somewhere. hue. i mean my time won't be spent with doing nothing that is really nothing at all like sleeping excessively! T_T may Allah bless. :)

below are the pictures of some pages from the book. enjoy them with your heart. :)

the cover. 

one of the middle pages. BERJIWA BESAR.

what i understand from this, i have to know myself. certainly. what i want? what i aim? my vision? my mission? all sorts of things in me. yet, i still have uncertainties in myself. 

a check-list for self.

BUKAN MALAS. NOT LAZY. NOT BEING SLACK.

to live the life to the fullest is to live at night. hu.

night. live the night!

the beginning point. intention. intention. intention!

to be honoured with the vision and mission. 

vision and mission!

the meaningful sleep.

berkawan biar beribu.
musuh jangan dicari. 

i'll make notes under this subtopic. 

when i was reading this, i was slacking.. how to say.. that time, i actually need to revise (just like now). but, i read this book. when i read this page, the last sentence, i closed the book and immediately i started to revise. T_T afraid. 

islam - berserah diri. 

thus, i know why there're people who really like to do something that seemed to be shouldn't be in their concern, at all.

short.

just finished reading the latest update at Muharikah.wordpress.com.

okey, this evening i wanted to attend the newly-growing happy family circle, but i think i can't manage to finish my revision by tonight if i don't revise now. er. okay. i'll update this entry as fast as i can. (am robbing my own time..>.< i know.)

it's just that, i was arranging my personal cert clear holder. then, i found the receipt for registration at ae.pee.ai.you.am. omo... that moment, i told myself. i will go there** someday. in the future. in literature, perhaps? insya Allah. i'll go there. but, literature, how can i use that as a tool in the big word called D-A-K-W-A-H? >.< (i also told myself, i need to draft my personal timeline again. it's been quite a time i don't look at the big picture of my timeline...)

so, it happened that i read the update at Muharikah. yes. the highlighted-big-issue in the update is D-A-K-W-A-H.

for me to ponder and explore.

okayh.

happy revising, self!

^_^

**the address on the receipt was the one in Lembah Pantai, KL. :)

Nihlah.

3 years.

mukhayyam.

different themes. back to sirah.

Badar Kubra. can't remember at all what did i feel... need to flip my diaries...

Tabuk. pre-ramadhan. wasn't ready.

this year, with name of 'nihlah'. when i saw this word, i just remember one of my sister's friend. i wonder why 'nihlah'?

i asked organizer what does it mean by nihlah? ok. i need to search myself.
i found it. it means 'free gift'... but, i wonder what relies under that meaning? hu.

Nihlah. in Ramadhan. in between teaching practice phase....

alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah.

participants were divided into three groups.
each group got a story of sahabah or tabi'in.
my group got a tabi'in's story. guess who?

al-Hasan al-Yasar or well known with Hasan al-Basri.

taking 'ibrah from the story... we actually had gone through Hasan al-Basri's story in our happy circle.
there is one remarkable point for me i would like to share here.
one fact about myself, people in our happy community call it as 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik'.
as i grow up on this path, i never understand why should sisters respond like,

"bertuahnya..."

"wahh bestnyaa...."

"beruntungnya awak!"

and there will be some expectations that i don't like because i don't like expectations in general.
because of that, i never reveal the fact unless being asked or revealed by others i had to verify. reluctantly.
i couldn't accept for some responses sounded like,

"senang pergi program..."

"senang belanja untuk program..." 

because life test is different for different human. 

i won't elaborate more about my negative respond toward the fact. 

the point of story of Hasan al-Basri that i, alhamdulillah, given the light to see what can i relate to me? 

Hasan al-Basri was born near to people who were near to Rasulullah s.a.w. 

Hasan al-Basri was named by Rasulullah's wife, Ummu Salamah. 

he grew up for 14 years with Ummul Mu'minin. he got the chance to learn from sahabah like 'Ali and Abu Hurairah (if i'm not mistaken. pls check) it's stated that he even played at Ummul Mu'minin's house that he touched the ceiling of the house. 

one of the sisters gave emphasis of this part of the story that Hasan al-Basri was very lucky to have the good condition (read: bi'ah solehah) since he was born. 

that moment, i realized and  remembered. yeah. i also was too amazed by Anas bin Malik's story that he could be with Rasulullah s.a.w. since young. 

thus, i asked myself, why do we feel that way toward sahabah? 

then, out of sudden, is it the same why do they respond that way toward 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik' fact? 

......

the negative in me reduced. 

it's actually beyond the responses i mentioned above about the easiness. it's beyond that. 

as my heart pinched, i thanked Allah.

how i have overlooked all the ni'mah from Him. in my life.

i thanked Allah  for everything. everything i have denied. 

and i hope, sisters, please be positive regardless 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik' or what. life test is different between human. we unite because of islam.

during the programme, we were asked our favourite surah in the Qur'an and our favourite sahabah. 

i was thinking about  al-Insyirah.. but, when others mentioned al-Insyirah, i wanted a different one. i thought  about at-Tin... then one of us mentioned at-Tin either. then, i determine in my heart for why i chose at-Tin. :) the phrase "ahsani taqwim" in the surah. :)

sahabah... okey. before that. we got our name tags. we're encouraged to write our names in Arabic. 

thus, i texted ayah because i don't know how should i spell mine. is it sad with wau? or is it sad without wau? my question to ayah, 

"ayah, when u named me, is it because of sahabiah's name or is it because of the meaning 'pure' like ahli sufi?"

ayah answered me,

"sempena nama isteri nabi sebab ayah ummi suka sangat dengan isteri nabi yang cerdik dan bijak tu :)" 

now, i know how to spell ^_^

"patutnya ada rumman kat belakang tu :)"  

i replied: "nak tukar ejaan nama dan tambah nama la nnt~"

proceed to favourite sahabah.. i was thinking about taking Safiyyah as my one because i admired Safiyyah; Rasulullah's aunt in one war. but, i once fell for Khadijah deeply heartily. he.he. one of the factor in the song, "Zammilooni"... :) so, i told the sisters, Khadijah even though others mentioned Khadijah either (because there are Khadijah for their own  names!). ^_^
but, next time, i  would say Safiyyah. since it's my name! ^_^ i will search more stories of both Safiyyah; Rasulullah's wife and Rasulullah's aunt. :) insya Allah.

indeed, may Allah forgive me in this Ramadhan. and you too.

phase 2: maghfirah.

sadaqallahul 'adzim. 

this path...

Aku ingat pertama kali kita bertemu,
hatiku berdesir, bergetar melebihi biasanya

Kubisikkan pelan-pelan dalam hati..
..semoga rasa ini bertahan selamanya
Hingga kelak kita berakhir di tempat yang dijanjikan Allah untuk kita

Aku ingat hari-hari berat yang kita lalui,
perdebatan-perdebatan antara siapa yg harus mengalah
Rasa kesal yang membuncah,
pun sampai rasa tidak percaya yang mulai berkuasa

Tapi semua selalu berakhir,
dengan aku yang kembali menggenggam tanganmu mesra
Sadar bahwa, hidupku tanpamu tak akan sama
Sadar bahwa, kau adalah anugrah terbaik yang bisa aku minta pada Allah

Kau yang mengubahku dari seonggok daging bergerak tak bermakna
Menjadi sebenar-benarnya manusia,
Mengajarkanku bahwa hidup ini bukan tentang AKU semata

Kau yang membantuku mengkristalkan banyak hikmah
Dibalik senyum dan nestapa, disela-sela musibah

Kau, anugrah Allah bernama Tarbiyah
Aku ingin Menua, membangun istana syurga, menghembus penghujung nyawa
Dengan kita yang tetap seperti ini, sejalan seirama :’)

credit:

http://www.pkspiyungan.org/2013/05/pks-anugerah-terindah-darinya.html

 

so, i found this piece.... 

am searching for a place for solitude, yet shooting and boosting me to be something. somebody. 

but, so far, when i asked people around me, my beloved, all of them offered me something that needs me to offer something to them. ohoh. i was like... uh-uh? 

i'm searching something for me, and others are asking something from me? that just made me to wake up. 

maybe, am too 'old' on this path to ask from others to get something for myself, in that way. 

thus, i need to be that strong. i need to be that beneficial. because there're lots of others need me. 

again, am typing the sentence here, to be strong, i need to ask from the ONE who's STRONG, ALLAH. 

random no. 9

61.
Walau hujan badai kan terus melanda
Walau amuk gelombang tak henti menerjang
Walau terang mencegah, walau mentari kan membakar
Jangan letih menapaki kehidupan

Ujian bagaikan terik sinar sang surya...
Hadir kedunia bersama berjuta karunia...
Janganlah bertekuk lutut dalam pelukan putus asa...
janganlah bersimpuh dihadapan duka...

hadapilah segala tantangan...
sambutlah harimu dengan suka cita...
hadapilah segala ujian...
dalam kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan...

by: shoutul harokah

my credit goes to that person who just returned from 'Amman. he keeps playing this song and his alarm is this song!


62.
went to Zoo Negara with Ahmad, Muhammad and 'Ali. with my 'uniform' usually i wear at home or in personal transport. when i said i'm selekeh, that Ahmad replied, "all Islam asks to cover 'aurah..." okay! ha-ha. dush!

i found it's not interesting to go to zoo.

but, while eating ice cream with Muhammad and 'Ali before we went back, i was thinking about the zoo.

yeah. i found that actually i can do something that make me a better servant to Allah.
zoo means plenty of Allah's creatures. all the beautiful. all the cute. all the wild. all the big and tall animals! how proud was i....

and yeah. i actually should observe what's in the zoo.
children and zoo are familiar. am going to be with children, ain't i? that forgotten and proud me again...

in a conclusion, think before i feel. i've wasted my time at the zoo without doing something meaningful! :'(

and am sorry to Muhammad and 'Ali that i didn't bring my camera and didn't ask from Ahmad his camera to snap some pictures of you both! bad sister. 

63.
it's about passion. 8 hours journey. i didn't realise that it's more than two hours! :)
"weren't you afraid or scared?"
"eh? afraid? scared? of what?"
"if you took wrong road..."
"no.... we can turn around if we took wrong road..."

ngeeeeeeeeeeeee. and i'm a morning person.


64.
my lovely bluish sentimental the second was sick.
"operating system can't be found"

i was just... okay.... 

then, sent it to the place where i took it.

after returned from Selangor, it's at ayah's place.

turned it on.

huh? okey. nothing inside.  okay. restless.

no sentimental pictures.
no sentimental values.

yes, i don't have external hard disk! +.+

i was like.... it took me quite a time to get my feet back on the ground with a heart and soul.

later, this thought came into my brain.

you get it back with nothing inside. it's like purifying. doesn't it? you can restart all over again. reinstall all the good stuff for your soul. don't give a dirt into it. you should download Omar Series! Fetih! ehe. you can search again all the ebooks for your soul. won't you? still remember when you lost that Nokia? you have the pros for losing it, right? please, lighten your spirit!! you're not nothing here.


65.
MyGMJ.

cousins; E, Luq, bro in law; abe Syim, Momo, Aman

Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam

things i got... the third brooch i bought since i've lost it twice.

maybe, flashmob.. maybe. haha

credit: Ahmad's blackberry. :P


66.
today. less than 24 hours - time at home. hee. about 24 hours Junaid has gone to his hostel. i miss him. hahah. Junaid!
days with the five younger bros. growing up to be taller and bigger than me.
am losing my appetite. kohf2. it's okey. after nine days, i'll be back. insya Allah! heh.
the best excuse; i've to see the doctor!! =p


67.
school.
something i can't describe with words.
but, i really want to do something. i need to do something. regardless all the trouble i'd known.

random no. 8

55.
"let's go to Borneo at the end of this year.."

"woah.. okey.. how much do we need?"

"save about RM*** to RM***..."

"seriously? urm... insya Allah.. we'll see..."


56.
"go buy a smartphone, dear!! it's a need."

"hehe.. i will.. i will... insya Allah.."


57.
"i think i'm going to umrah at the end of this year.."

"urm... that need thousands... who do you wanna bring?"

"hm... i don't know..."


58.
"i wanna buy a smartphone, soon.."

"okay. save your money..."

"can u add some?"

"you can take from another account of yours..."

"do i have much in that account? i don't think so... hueee"

"still can be used to add some.. would be sufficient..."


59.
someone updated her status. i don't like the content of the status. since i know i'm the one who's closely related to the status, it reminded me of what had happened about eight years ago. i asked her to delete. -_- it's better that way.


60.
"what kind of book is Anthem?"

"huh? where is it?" *looking at her hand, Velvet di Durham!!!*

"in the living area.... in the Jemari Seni's plastic bag..."

"hmm... about school students..." in heart, 'sending things without notice, but sarcastic status are not nice, dude.'

for heaven's sake...

equals to - for the sake of Allah

of DCs no. 4

google did make my day. ha-ha

limited.

alhamdulillah.
alhamdulillah.

i feel anew.
in this new semester.
but, today, i too feel weak again.
that weak part of me seems to be appear again.
but, i think i won't allow it to cover myself.
i won't hide behind it anymore.
not a chance.
this is serious.
oh. sufiyyah!
this is a public pledge!!

dear you,
do remind me.
when i forget. when i'm in such a vain. ok. vain?

er. whatever it is, please REMIND ME.

it's Syaaban already.

1433.

ah.

too many things i wanna share actually.

MISI.

the 5 days and 3 nights at home.

new family members; new cousins; Wan Mujahid Mukhlis, Aisyah Umairah & Nik Uwais.

KAGUM UB 2012.

the 4 days earlier in the college.

the first week of new semester.

no wifi at the hostel; one factor can't really update.

tomorrow, SDP presentation!
am nervous. it'll be the first time i present in front of other 4 classes from my batch. :-s

fi amanillah.

enjoying my semester break.

:P 

^_^ V

wondrous.

full of love.

purifying the heart.

theme songs  --->

Kami Pejuang Keadilan

Kutapakkan langkah dengan pasti

Kubentangkan panji di tiang tertinggi

Tinggalkan rayuan kemewahan dunia

Demi bangkitkan agama dan bangsa

Bergerak maju bak topan menerjang

Runtuhkan tirani yang angkuh menghadang

Turut barisan kami bersama bangun negri

Sambut seruan raih kemenangan

Kami pejuang keadilan

Takkan gentar rintangan menghadang

Selama nyawa dikandung badan

Tak selangkah pun surut ke belakang

Harta jiwa telah direlakan

Hanya Allah menjadi tujuan

Terus menerjang kedzaliman

Karna kami pejuang keadilan

Wahai kalian yang rindu kemenangan

yakinlah

tiada kemenangan tanpa perjuangan

tiada perjuangan tanpa pengorbanan

tiada pengorbanan tanpa iman

tiada iman tanpa kerja nyata

bersegeralah

sambut seruan perjuangan

Allahu Akbar!

Majulah Hai Sahabat-Izzatulislam

Luruskanlah niatmu… Hai sahabat

Membina ummat menggapai hidayah

Tetapkan Langkahmu… Hai sahabat

Tapaki jalan perjuangan -2x-

Dan debu-debu jadi saksi

Peluh dan darah menghias diri

Kan tetap setia pada janji

Hingga kemenangan atau kesyahidan

Kan kau raih... nanti

Tegarlah jiwamu… Hai sahabat

Usah kau ragu dengan janji Rabb-mu

Melaju menderu tanpa jemu

Runtuhkan barisan musuhmu

Makar kedzoliman kian menghujam

Menggoyahkan sendi kebenaran

Bangkitlah wahai para pejuang

Satukan tekadmu hadapi musuhmu

Ayo maju… maju… maju!!

Tetapkanlah langkahmu… hai sahabat

Tapaki jalan perjuangan…

one sentence.

"can you please give it a thought again?"

just only this sentence, twisted my heart... say it i'm not sincere. say it i'm doing for people. say it anything you or me myself might wanna say. it's just a motivation.

Responsibility or Sacrifice, i chose Escape.

escapism is always the best way to run away from... conflicts and problems? i'm loving it though. ^__^ yeah. i'm weak. i'm never strong at this kind of thing.

thus, the right choice to choose actually to be Responsible. insya Allah, i'm making up my mind. Allah loves people that take responsible of what they're responsible on, right? ^___^
it's my duty to be responsible. i'm a muslim. ^_^

it takes a sentence to change a decision
it takes a sentence to make a decision

that's how i acted these past few days...

keep telling the heart, it's okay, homecoming is sooner!!

and two days ago, i laughed with ummi on the phone! ^-^

sacrifice... don't follow the heart when it's not really a sacrifice. it's not sacrificing my happiness, it's sacrificing the bad me inside. ^-^

may Allah bless us, sisters who'd been my dartboard;where i throw my darts away... alhamdulillah for your presence. =)

when i'm escaping, i call it sweet escape to comfort myself. >.<

but, i know, i can do things on the spot. i just can change my decision without thinking twice. when that decision is pasted in me, but, when the decision is also written in HIS AL-MIGHTY book, i can say nothing at all. :)

O thou man! Verily thou art ever toiling on towards thy Lord- painfully toiling,- but thou shalt meet Him.

(The Sundering,84 : 6)

Say: "O Allah.Lord of Power (And Rule), Thou givest power to whom Thou pleasest, and Thou strippest off power from whom Thou pleasest: Thou enduest with honour whom Thou pleasest, and Thou bringest low whom Thou pleasest: In Thy hand is all good.Verily, over all things Thou hast power. "Thou causest the night to gain on the day, and thou causest the day to gain on the night; Thou bringest the Living out of the dead, and Thou bringest the dead out of the Living; and Thou givest sustenance to whom Thou pleasest, without measure."

(The Family of 'Imran,3 : 26-27)