a death and a newborn

September 9th, a death of a grandpa.
not my grandpa.
oh. am telling the story again.

i'm doing my teaching practice here, at the place. am staying with my partner's family. there're few others doing teaching practice at the same district with my partner and i. they rent a house nearby. in front of the house, there's a house. a sweet elderly couple were living there.
the first week or the second week, the uncle gave my friends roses. roses from the roses plants in front of his house. i took one and kept it in my record book. the uncle or the grandpa had a wife. his wife fell sick in the first few days we began our teaching practice. since my friends received the roses, i always asked the grandpa to take some. i usually take three or four roses. i dried them.
after 'Eid break, i once talked to a friend. i said that it's so sweet to see the grandpa hanging the washed clothes to dry them at the porch. ^_^ we thought about the elderly sweet couple... what if one of them gone first...?
and then, two weeks ago, when i was to accompany my friend at the house, the kind-hearted grandpa gave us some coconut juice. he plucked the coconuts himself. and i took some roses, few days later, which was on September 8th. he was at the front door. i, shy-shy cat asked for some roses again.
at the night,.... i slept tightly. in the morning, my partner read an SMS. he's gone.
i was... shocked. not to believe it. i cried.
i hadn't done any kindness toward them. T_T
in the afternoon, i went to the house. visited the grandma. she's okay. she wasn't crying. but, she did tell us she still remembers the grandpa. yeah. they lived together. only two of them. the grandpa ate with her. bought her food.... make sure she eats medicine prescribed...
i... i just took the roses...
two days ago, i stayed there. there're some roses. blooming beautifully. i don't have the heart to take them, anymore. no more...
al-fatihah.

Yesterday, September 16th, newborn of the first nephew in the family.
he was born at 12:20p.m.
that's all i knew about the baby.
the mother calls her son يوسف.
alhamdulillah.

i was so sad that tears filled up my eyes for almost every time i remember about the grandpa
i was so cheerful that i can't stop myself smiling looking the baby's picture
death
newborn
LIFE.

random no. 9

61.
Walau hujan badai kan terus melanda
Walau amuk gelombang tak henti menerjang
Walau terang mencegah, walau mentari kan membakar
Jangan letih menapaki kehidupan

Ujian bagaikan terik sinar sang surya...
Hadir kedunia bersama berjuta karunia...
Janganlah bertekuk lutut dalam pelukan putus asa...
janganlah bersimpuh dihadapan duka...

hadapilah segala tantangan...
sambutlah harimu dengan suka cita...
hadapilah segala ujian...
dalam kesulitan pasti ada kemudahan...

by: shoutul harokah

my credit goes to that person who just returned from 'Amman. he keeps playing this song and his alarm is this song!


62.
went to Zoo Negara with Ahmad, Muhammad and 'Ali. with my 'uniform' usually i wear at home or in personal transport. when i said i'm selekeh, that Ahmad replied, "all Islam asks to cover 'aurah..." okay! ha-ha. dush!

i found it's not interesting to go to zoo.

but, while eating ice cream with Muhammad and 'Ali before we went back, i was thinking about the zoo.

yeah. i found that actually i can do something that make me a better servant to Allah.
zoo means plenty of Allah's creatures. all the beautiful. all the cute. all the wild. all the big and tall animals! how proud was i....

and yeah. i actually should observe what's in the zoo.
children and zoo are familiar. am going to be with children, ain't i? that forgotten and proud me again...

in a conclusion, think before i feel. i've wasted my time at the zoo without doing something meaningful! :'(

and am sorry to Muhammad and 'Ali that i didn't bring my camera and didn't ask from Ahmad his camera to snap some pictures of you both! bad sister. 

63.
it's about passion. 8 hours journey. i didn't realise that it's more than two hours! :)
"weren't you afraid or scared?"
"eh? afraid? scared? of what?"
"if you took wrong road..."
"no.... we can turn around if we took wrong road..."

ngeeeeeeeeeeeee. and i'm a morning person.


64.
my lovely bluish sentimental the second was sick.
"operating system can't be found"

i was just... okay.... 

then, sent it to the place where i took it.

after returned from Selangor, it's at ayah's place.

turned it on.

huh? okey. nothing inside.  okay. restless.

no sentimental pictures.
no sentimental values.

yes, i don't have external hard disk! +.+

i was like.... it took me quite a time to get my feet back on the ground with a heart and soul.

later, this thought came into my brain.

you get it back with nothing inside. it's like purifying. doesn't it? you can restart all over again. reinstall all the good stuff for your soul. don't give a dirt into it. you should download Omar Series! Fetih! ehe. you can search again all the ebooks for your soul. won't you? still remember when you lost that Nokia? you have the pros for losing it, right? please, lighten your spirit!! you're not nothing here.


65.
MyGMJ.

cousins; E, Luq, bro in law; abe Syim, Momo, Aman

Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam

things i got... the third brooch i bought since i've lost it twice.

maybe, flashmob.. maybe. haha

credit: Ahmad's blackberry. :P


66.
today. less than 24 hours - time at home. hee. about 24 hours Junaid has gone to his hostel. i miss him. hahah. Junaid!
days with the five younger bros. growing up to be taller and bigger than me.
am losing my appetite. kohf2. it's okey. after nine days, i'll be back. insya Allah! heh.
the best excuse; i've to see the doctor!! =p


67.
school.
something i can't describe with words.
but, i really want to do something. i need to do something. regardless all the trouble i'd known.

random no. 2

we'll always love You. hu.

that's number ten.

ok.

11. jet lag. yeah. even i'm not studying abroad, when i return home, since the 'eid Fitr break few months ago, i tell myself, i am jet lag in my hometown. the first thing i jet lag is the road system. yada. due to the construction and city development.. Raya break, that time, i just  missed that one junction had turned into a one-way road. this time, i found that i just forgot the traffic light near my school old building. from a way, that road, you can't turn right, i just did last week Sunday. then, near a road to go to my primary school, divider appeared to be there. o my. lucky me that i didn't think to do something crazy like at the traffic light!

the second thing is prayer time. in the Northern part of Malaysia, i recognised that, there, we got prayer time later than in Darul Naim. hmmm... so, i was quite... i just need... it's like... like this... when i live in the Northern Part, i will prepare myself for dusk at this time, but in my hometown, i just need to be earlier. aha. jet lag. ok? although it's just minutes that differ, still, am jet lag. :P

finally, the weather. now, i'm writing about the weather. at the hostel, i lived at the third floor. the hostel surrounded by hills. oh. it's down the hill, in a way. surrounded by green scenery though one of the hills now brown-orange. bald. so, i'm saying, there, i was comfortable. with the temperature in the room. ok. nice. outside the room, on the ground, my skin still felt the pain by sun light ok?  when i arrived home for this break, i found that, at night, it's just too hot. o my. too warm. yes. after near one week, i told ummi. then, ummi answered me that we have less trees around our home now. and, when i was typing about my jet lag toward the road system just now, i just realized, the development actually contributed to the temperature changes in my home, too, right! so, my pride to look at the road building decreased. i love nature more.

12. boycott. i support boycott. i was trained educated about boycotting israel since i was young; as far as i remember, since i was in early secondary school. and i have my faith in boycott. last evening, ummi and i fetch Momo at KB. then i was like looking forward to see the condition of McD in our city... ummi told me, we don't have McD in Kota Bharu. it's moved to Wakaf Che Yeh. i asked, even in Tesco, no McD? ummi said, no. ok. that made me relieved. and am proud that KB has no McD. pfft.
 we are not Tesco's customers either. am proud of it.
ok. after i googled McD in KB, i just forgot other places. KB Mall. -_-" hahaha. boo. Jalan Tok Hakim. Taman Sekebun Bunga. ding dong. ah!! *frust*


13. kids. i really want to practice myself to be communicating with them. but, i found that i can't perform with people who knows my family members. i can't perform when i'm near my family. i don't know. but this syndrome is getting on my nerve more more more and more when i'm getting older. not only regarding of communicating with kids la, anything about performing my skills or anything in the same meaning or scope. am sorry.

14. DnT. i just feel these entries;
http://bulatansyurga.blogspot.com/2012/11/wahai-ukhti.html
http://syafiqahrahmat.blogspot.com/2012/11/hijab.html
http://imagining-life.blogspot.com/2012/11/wake-up-call.html

15. i found that Rudy Hirdy's pieces; Aku Bukan Nabi, Dia Bukan Nabi are like male chauvinism? hehe. but, i like the story. :)

16. visit Iman and her baby girl named Aisyah! oho. 2 A.M. tomorrow, they're going back to Jordan. have  a safe journey Iman and her baby and her mother. :)

jaa.

that feeling.

i got the feeling of urgency to return home on the first day i arrived the campus.

i told you, i just can go back when the strong feeling of mine to return home appears in my soul.

so, i went back on Aug 30th, 2012. :)

what is more, the eldest sister, Yummy also came back.

ok.

August 23rd, 2012

Momo got her status changed from single but not available to married.

this is Momo and her beloved husband, Mr. Sun. haha. ok. my bro in-law's name is Syamsi. :)

on the day i returned, August 31st, they had gone to Bangi.

only on September 2nd, Momo returned. thus, it's full house again!

erm.

Saturday.

i was in the MPV with ummi and ayah. there were other siblings too (i had forgotten who're they).

the radio was on. ikim.fm. then. ikim.fm played the song My Little Girl by Maher Zain.

i told ayah, "ayah, you should dedicate this song to your daughters..."

ayah clicked on the 'surround on' button.

"then, you must add '-s', 'my little girls' since you have five daughters..." i was smiling.

based on my observation, ummi and ayah was listening to the song. to the lyrics to be specific.

Sunday.

i kissed ummi's forehand. hug her. kissed her cheeks.

then, when i was already on the passenger seat beside ayah, Ahmad came. he opened the door.

he took my hand. for the first time, he let his cheek in contact with my cheek. ok. how to describe this? i think only elder sister like me understand this situation? ha-ha.

after we left Lala at Sireh Valley, before i left ayah with Muhammad in the car, i kissed ayah's forehand too. hug him. kissed his cheeks.

i left Cik Siti Wan Kembang's city with spacious heart? haha.

contented.

relieved.

alhamdulillah. after i arrived Bagan also, after i entered my room, the heavy feeling has gone. the emptiness disappeared. i just can smile. and alhamdulillah, i'm still in a positive mode. :)

alhamdulillah for everything.

and Ahmad has gone to 'Amman. Allah be with him. ok. only at this moment, i feel sad again.

yesterday, Yiba texted me telling that she's sad for Ahmad's departure. Yiba, i had that feeling earlier when i know he's at BTN programme. :')

yes. this is an entry of my beloved.

and, Junaid looks so nerd wearing spectacles!

'Ali impressed me that he got blue belt in Tae Kwon Do!! 

Aman the 7th, is having his SPM trial exam.

may Allah bless us.
... till Jannah.

and i feel something wrong somewhere again at this phase. DnT. T.T

al-fatihah for our sisters in Russia.

till then.

123 kursus.

NT Ada kursus pra kahwin.. Xtau nk amek ke tak?
    sent to Ayah, Ummi, Yummy, Momo, Lala, Yiba and Amad.

replies:

from Lala; i. mu nk kawen bila? kalu 4thn lg xpayah...
                 ii. ada xprd date x silap.. murah ko?

from Yummy; i. Ada tarikh luput dop? boleh diguna dimana2?
                       ii. klau xda tarikh luput, buleh diguna dimana2, ambillah.

from Yiba; amek je la. bila?

from Ayah; Ambil lah nanti nak kahwin senang :)

from Momo; kalu x bz g ah. Cm ak ni lambat.

no replies from Ummi and Amad~

p/s just done revising the slides for tomorrow's presentation. :)