Dirimu Memang Tangguh

"Dirimu Memang Tangguh"

Dulu engkau tangguh
Kenapa sekarang luluh?
Sudahlah, jangan mengaduh,
Hidup memang lumrah begitu.

Kesulitan itu aksesoris hidup,
dia kadang mengepung,
menjelma bagai elang,
menyeringai garang,
mencengkram tajam menghujam.
Dan engkau,
engkau bagai pipit kecil
dikepung raksasa-raksasa lapar.
Pucat pasi.
Ingin berlari.
Sembunyi.

Sayapmu mungkin kecil
Paruhmu mungil
Cakarmu kerdil
Dan
Nyalimu menggigil!
Tapi,
Ketahuilah!
Kekuatan itu bukan pada realitas fisikmu,
bukan pula di aksesoris tubuhmu.
Melainkan pada motivasi di dadamu,
yang lahir  dari keberserahan pada Allah-mu
Berserahmu itulah sahabat,
yang akan menjelma kekuatan,
yang membuat Daud kecil menyungkurkan Jalut,
yang membantu Musa menenggelamkan Fir’aun,
yang menegarkan Hajar di tandus Makkah,
yang meneguhkan Bilal di himpitan batu Umayyah
Kekuatan yang akan membuat ke-pipit-anmu menjelma rajawali.
Tangguh, teguh, kukuh, tak kenal aduh!
Berserahlah sahabat….
Pada Kekuatan yang menjagamu
Bukan menyerah
Pada kesulitan yang mengepungmu.
Tegakkan!
Kepalkan!
Hancurkan!
Sampai rintangan itu terjungkal di hadapanmu!

Karena kutahu: Dirimu memang tangguh!

sumber: http://www.pkspiyungan.org/2013/05/kutahu-dirimu-memang-tangguh-kader-pks.html

smoky love?

smokers.
you don't love people around you when you smoke freely near them.

you lie. truly lie.
if you say you love them, at the same time you're smoking there.

LIARs.

and you know the facts of being a smoker and your effects toward others.

UBAH!!! ini kalilah, bro!

**i'll be rather disappointed that i people i look up to are smokers. that's so s**t. oh. tercemar blog saya. 

for heaven's sake...

equals to - for the sake of Allah

to taste the honey...

i once wrote these lines,

i ask myself,
was i really mujahadah over my desire?
am i really mujahadah over my wants?
will i be a real mujahidah?
mujahadah is not a word for jokes
once i say i want to mujahadah
it means i have to fight my own self
i have to go over my mind
i will hate my own self,
pray hard. try hard.
die hard to be a mujahidah, self.

mujahadah.

i found myself have some points that i really can't easily go through them when i need to fight them.

it was... in February. today is someone's birthday. okayru. merapu.

it just that, mujahadah is not that easy.

mujahadah begins in the mind. in the heart.

mind and heart must be clean and clear.

and it's true, only if we really do it for Allah, that's the best cure for the bitterness of being in mujahadah mode.

all this while, i questioned myself for things i left. for things i took. for things i did.
i was in such a sad and confused situation. it's blur. it didn't seem so wrong to continue and it did cause something wrong somewhere at times. syubhah. that, when i look at the mirror, the misery look in my eyes, i remember about intention. and that's it, the moment my eyes slowly shone with a smile cracked on my face. that's where the sweetness combined with the bitterness.

"Love will make you a slave. Be careful what you love"
(Yasmin Mogahed) ♥