Nihlah.

3 years.

mukhayyam.

different themes. back to sirah.

Badar Kubra. can't remember at all what did i feel... need to flip my diaries...

Tabuk. pre-ramadhan. wasn't ready.

this year, with name of 'nihlah'. when i saw this word, i just remember one of my sister's friend. i wonder why 'nihlah'?

i asked organizer what does it mean by nihlah? ok. i need to search myself.
i found it. it means 'free gift'... but, i wonder what relies under that meaning? hu.

Nihlah. in Ramadhan. in between teaching practice phase....

alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah.

participants were divided into three groups.
each group got a story of sahabah or tabi'in.
my group got a tabi'in's story. guess who?

al-Hasan al-Yasar or well known with Hasan al-Basri.

taking 'ibrah from the story... we actually had gone through Hasan al-Basri's story in our happy circle.
there is one remarkable point for me i would like to share here.
one fact about myself, people in our happy community call it as 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik'.
as i grow up on this path, i never understand why should sisters respond like,

"bertuahnya..."

"wahh bestnyaa...."

"beruntungnya awak!"

and there will be some expectations that i don't like because i don't like expectations in general.
because of that, i never reveal the fact unless being asked or revealed by others i had to verify. reluctantly.
i couldn't accept for some responses sounded like,

"senang pergi program..."

"senang belanja untuk program..." 

because life test is different for different human. 

i won't elaborate more about my negative respond toward the fact. 

the point of story of Hasan al-Basri that i, alhamdulillah, given the light to see what can i relate to me? 

Hasan al-Basri was born near to people who were near to Rasulullah s.a.w. 

Hasan al-Basri was named by Rasulullah's wife, Ummu Salamah. 

he grew up for 14 years with Ummul Mu'minin. he got the chance to learn from sahabah like 'Ali and Abu Hurairah (if i'm not mistaken. pls check) it's stated that he even played at Ummul Mu'minin's house that he touched the ceiling of the house. 

one of the sisters gave emphasis of this part of the story that Hasan al-Basri was very lucky to have the good condition (read: bi'ah solehah) since he was born. 

that moment, i realized and  remembered. yeah. i also was too amazed by Anas bin Malik's story that he could be with Rasulullah s.a.w. since young. 

thus, i asked myself, why do we feel that way toward sahabah? 

then, out of sudden, is it the same why do they respond that way toward 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik' fact? 

......

the negative in me reduced. 

it's actually beyond the responses i mentioned above about the easiness. it's beyond that. 

as my heart pinched, i thanked Allah.

how i have overlooked all the ni'mah from Him. in my life.

i thanked Allah  for everything. everything i have denied. 

and i hope, sisters, please be positive regardless 'anak-pak-cik-mak-cik' or what. life test is different between human. we unite because of islam.

during the programme, we were asked our favourite surah in the Qur'an and our favourite sahabah. 

i was thinking about  al-Insyirah.. but, when others mentioned al-Insyirah, i wanted a different one. i thought  about at-Tin... then one of us mentioned at-Tin either. then, i determine in my heart for why i chose at-Tin. :) the phrase "ahsani taqwim" in the surah. :)

sahabah... okey. before that. we got our name tags. we're encouraged to write our names in Arabic. 

thus, i texted ayah because i don't know how should i spell mine. is it sad with wau? or is it sad without wau? my question to ayah, 

"ayah, when u named me, is it because of sahabiah's name or is it because of the meaning 'pure' like ahli sufi?"

ayah answered me,

"sempena nama isteri nabi sebab ayah ummi suka sangat dengan isteri nabi yang cerdik dan bijak tu :)" 

now, i know how to spell ^_^

"patutnya ada rumman kat belakang tu :)"  

i replied: "nak tukar ejaan nama dan tambah nama la nnt~"

proceed to favourite sahabah.. i was thinking about taking Safiyyah as my one because i admired Safiyyah; Rasulullah's aunt in one war. but, i once fell for Khadijah deeply heartily. he.he. one of the factor in the song, "Zammilooni"... :) so, i told the sisters, Khadijah even though others mentioned Khadijah either (because there are Khadijah for their own  names!). ^_^
but, next time, i  would say Safiyyah. since it's my name! ^_^ i will search more stories of both Safiyyah; Rasulullah's wife and Rasulullah's aunt. :) insya Allah.

indeed, may Allah forgive me in this Ramadhan. and you too.

phase 2: maghfirah.

sadaqallahul 'adzim.