i can't sleep. :-s even yesterday, at this hour too, i was forcing myself to be sleeping in the bed. rolling to left. then, to the right. until i just fell asleep unconsciously. my day began with a tiring feeling since i forced my brain to sleep. yes. i found that way to sleeping is tiring. don't you? :-s
okeh. since i can't sleep, i think i should use this time to update this blog. actually, i'd planned to update after the first paper.
to compare my 'eid in zulhijjah to the previous year, alhamdulillah. this year i'd experienced the better one. :)
yeah. my entry in last year (click) didn't really describe my 'eid by words. i only uploaded two photo collages. coloured and black and white versions.
thus, in this entry... er. how to start?
i actually planned to celebrate this 'eid with my beloved usrahmate, k.mimi in her village at Bukit Tembaga. but, at the eleventh hour, i'd received a message that we'd another hour to be spent with the lecturer.......... i was... hm. pasrah is the word in Malay. what to do. hu. it's okay.
i stayed here in the campus with other friends. yeah. there're many others of my classmates, batchmates, campusmates were here in the campus. ^_^ no woes.
my classmates and i, immediately planned something to do on the day of 'eid. we went to the mall to buy groceries to cook our 'eid food. ah-ha. we planned to make Nasi Lemak for 'eid breakfast and Soto for dinner. :)
what is more, what made me so lighten up was that most of us had the excitement and desire to perform 'eid prayer this time. i was so happy. we put efforts for it. may Allah guard us from sins on the day of 'eid.
after the 'eid prayer, we brought the food we'd cooked to the TV room (where we watch TV in the hostel).
oh. the first thing made me felt this 'eid experience precious was that on the first night of 'eid, i heard the sounds of takbir from the campus surau. the absence of takbir sounds was one of the reasons i felt so empty in the previous year. ^_^
if u're to ask me, why are you very concern about the takbir? urm. i don't know how to explain this with the reference of hadith or anything related to textual evidence in this deen. urm. but, in the previous year 'eidul-fitri celebration i found myself frustrated i couldn't really do the takbir on my own. and for 'eidul fitri, it's short time limit to takbir. so, i was looking forward for 'eidul-adha. b'coz after the 'eidul-adha, we've Tasyriq days. that means we've extra days for takbir on the Tasyriq days. ^_^ to hear the takbir is my excitement, at this moment. alhamdulillah. :) thus, for this year, in Malaysia, we have about 15 hours to go for 'eid takbir. :)
in the afternoon of Zulhijjah 10th, my friends received calls and SMS telling us we got some food from our beloved batchmate living in Guar Perahu. the durian crepe was very delicious!
we postponed the Soto plan for the next day breakfast.
so, that's it. i think i have written the points i wanted to highlight for my 'eid in this Zulhijjah. :)
for those who asked me,
"why didn't you return to your hometown for 'eid?"
or anything with the same meaning.
i don't have a direct answer for that inquiry. honestly. it's just my feeling i don't wanna go back. nervous for examinations is one of the feelings. urm. and this time, it doesn't have any relation to my escapism plan. :D no. it's not escapism. my sisters; Yummy, Lala and Yiba didn't return either. Ahmad, definitely wasn't coming home.
and, deep inside, i do miss home. kohf. kohf. within these two-three days, i too did feel uneasy toward ummi and ayah for not going back home. er... but, i can't promise that i will be home for next year. because i did make du'a to experience better 'eid in Zulhijjah again here. err... i did tell myself, don't expect too much and don't be too ambitious. :)
urm. in this Zulhijjah, i was disturbed by unknown numbers. :( what a test of life. within this one week, there're already two. i'm not asking for more.
urm. every time i feel i'm disturbed with those disturbance related to ikhtilat thingy, i say this line,
"stop playing games with my heart". yeah. a line from a song by BSB. and i too will remember this quote of k.'Aisyah Amaran, 2011 - Itu dulu. Nak katanya : JAGA IKHTILAT terutama bila sesuatu "mengerumuni" hati.
and i realized that i didn't really jaga my ikhtilat currently. tett. ok. that's it.
my eyes still wide-open.
|it's the morning of 'eid. Zulhijjah 10th, 1433. waiting for 'eid prayer. :)|
i would like to express my gratitude to everyone who had involved in my 'eid experience this year. :) may Allah bless us.
may Allah guide us.
while we're alive.
may Allah live us with faith.
till we die.
may Allah take us while we're in the faith.
till we enter the Jannah. (amin! insya Allah)
may Allah put us in the Jannah with faith in us.
bittaufiq wannajah for the exams! :)